I was sitting here thinking about how when I believe that Jesus removed the barrier of sin, my Counsellor can come really close to me.
As I thought this (the barrier is removed, clearing the way) I had to stop writing as I felt Him touch my head and I felt Him healing me. Thank You Jesus!
Truly the key to my rapid healing has been to rest in the finished work of Jesus on the cross!
Jesus is the Messiah. He paid for *all* of our sins, once for all, and I gratefully choose to accept His complete sacrifice for me.
Yes I still sin, I am a sinner, but my sin is not counted, it is fully paid for by Jesus. Past, present and future.
Because of Jesus there is no sin barrier between me and my heavenly Father. Nothing stopping His abundant blessings. Thank You Jesus!
One of the most remarkable things about recovery is the internal change that happens. The changes have been so subtle and remarkable the at some times I hardly recognize myself. I know I am me… but who is me? hehehe. I’m finding out I like things A LOT that I didn’t know I liked. I’m finding out that I really DON’T like things… and I am also finding out that I’m capable of anger and even hatred. I had NO IDEA!
So I did an online Myers Briggs test. Just answering the questions stretched me to think about me. All of my life I have corresponded to an INFP in terms of my inner world and goals. I was driven and driven and driven.
Their primary goal is … how can they best serve humanity in their lives? They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life. They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP’s value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life. The goal at the end of the path is always the same – the INFP is driven to help people and make the world a better place.
But the remarkable thing that is happening these days is I know that God is in charge and I can only love about 12 people (as Jesus did) and loving people is His command and He also wants me to enjoy my life… so I feel much more at ease in being myself and not so driven these days.
So now I feel like I correspond to an ESFP much more…
ESFPs have very strong inter-personal skills, and may find themselves in the role of the peacemaker frequently. Since they make decisions by using their personal values, they are usually very sympathetic and concerned for other people’s well-being. They’re usually quite generous and warm. They are very observant about other people, and seem to sense what is wrong with someone before others might, responding warmly with a solution to a practical need. They might not be the best advice-givers in the world, because they dislike theory and future-planning, but they are great for giving practical care. SFP is definitely a spontaneous, optimistic individual. They love to have fun.
Many of the descriptions of the various types are not me entirely, but that website has descriptions that come really really close. And it makes so much sense out of my behavior these days.
And do you know what? I like the new me! More relaxed. More loving. More staying the course with people. More out there. Less intense. Less driven. Less worried about the state of the world, because God is the potter.
Last week I was asking God for stuff and in particular I wanted Him to change me, make me different in some ways. And I think I heard “Be who I made you to be”. It’s a bit obvious, but for me very profound. I mean… imagine if I did simply accept who God has made me to be and learn to excel at my built-in desires and talents. What a wonderful life!
I am well suited to people and groups… so why not invest into that? I like being the center of a party… so go with it! I have heaps of compassion for people and I’m well suited to telling stories. Yeah. That sounds like me.
So how can I improve my happiness in my life? Well, I like to have HEAPS of fun… so I should recognize this about myself and go with it. Plan for it. I need a LOT of connection with people… so I should be aware of this and plan for it. If I can meet those needs better, I’ll be very well off inside myself.
Today I saw something remarkable. On a day with blue skies I saw a rainbow!
The thing about rainbows is that you have to be at exactly the right angle to the water and the sun, for the rays to be refracted towards you… so that it looks like a rainbow. (From wikipedia: “Rainbows can be observed whenever there are water drops in the air and sunlight shining from behind a person at a low altitude”)
As I drove along I saw this rainbow… in an otherwise blue sky!
I struggled to understand what God was saying. I felt narcissistic to even imagine that God was talking to me through such an event, and yet I thought He really was.
I tried to remember… what does a rainbow signify? After a bit, I came up with the word
“peace”. Because of Christ’s “New Covenant” there is complete peace between God and me. I felt God was reminding me that because of Jesus utterly and entirely paying for all of my sins (past, present, future) that there is complete peace between me and my Heavenly Father.
I also specifically thought of the words in Isaiah that say that if someone stirs up trouble against me, it is not God who is doing it, because there is peace with Him. This seemed like a partial answer to a question I had posed in my prayers.
Tonight I am looking up the bible verses for the “bow” and it definitely speaks of covenant…
And God said, This is the token of the covenant (solemn pledge) which I am making between Me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all future generations: I set My bow [rainbow] in the cloud, and it shall be a token or sign of a covenant or solemn pledge between Me and the earth. And it shall be that when I bring clouds over the earth and the bow [rainbow] is seen in the clouds, I will [earnestly] remember My covenant or solemn pledge which is between Me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and the waters will no more become a flood to destroy and make all flesh corrupt. When the bow [rainbow] is in the clouds and I look upon it, I will [earnestly] remember the everlasting covenant or pledge between God and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth. And God said to Noah, This [rainbow] is the token or sign of the covenant or solemn pledge which I have established between Me and all flesh upon the earth. – Gen 9:12-17
FWIW there are also three more references to the rainbow in the context of God’s personal glory: Ezek 1:28 and Rev 4:2-3 and Rev 10:1.
It’s not often that you see a rainbow in a clear blue sky eh? 
I recently made a profound discovery about how to overcome anger. I’ve written about how anger built up in me over the years and eventually turned to a hidden “hook” that caused heaps of difficulty in my personal life. I’ve prayed about it quite a bit and recently I’ve begun to notice how many people are either walking in freedom or have this seething anger inside them. I think heaps of us don’t even know it’s there!
I did a short bible study on anger and the only thing I found out was that God feels it too sometimes. hehehe. He seemed to get angry when people continued to block His righteous plans for the people He cared for. Except that He is far slower to anger than me. I take a few years to really build up a head of steam, He takes a few hundred years.
So I was watching this Christian program. They were talking about anger. Immediately my eyes felt like closing and I felt tired like I wanted to leave the room and go sleep. But praise God I saw this reaction and realized what was happening. So I listened more closely. What they were saying was touching me on the inside.
As I listened the guy said something profound. He said that anger is created inside when we feel our goals are being blocked.
I hit pause on the TV show. I suddenly knew why I had become angry in my marriage! I could see why I had become angry as a teenager. I can see why I still have anger even though those years are long past.
And I knew what the solution is! It all just clicked for me.
I realized… my goals and dreams and hopes were blocked by someone else… but I can still have those dreams, I can still achieve those goals. I just have to find another different way of doing them.
No one else is in charge of my ability to find another way. The other way may include learning new adult skills, going to counseling, or simply making a decision to try again.
Even as I type this I feel a freedom washing around inside of me. I don’t feel blocked, I don’t feel angry. I feel hope and excitement as I reconnect to my goals and dreams.
All I have to do is recognize where I got blocked and move around the block. Find a new way. The old way didn’t work, just find a new way.
With the guy on tv stuck in mid-sentence and looking silly with his mouth open and hands in the air… I knew what I needed to do. I rushed to find a pen and paper and began to list the goals I had, the dreams I had.
As I scribbled I went back in time (emotionally in my memories).I listed the things I had hoped for in my marriage… how they got blocked… how I can still have them
For example, I wanted to have a partner in life who will love and let me give all I have to her. That was blocked. I got angry deep down inside. A righteous desire was blocked. I gave and gave (as she did too I imagine) and it was blocked. I got angrier.
BUT I see now that I can still have this dream. I can still love and be loved. I can still have intimacy and trust. And as I say that, I feel the anger towards my past simply go away.
The block is what creates the anger. The way around the block is what removes the anger.
I can make a way for all my dreams to still happen. All those things I grew up with as a young boy – to do things for God, to remain pure, to be strong for the helpless, to achieve, to climb Mount Everest… these things were blocked… and I got angry. I tried to unblock and turn the other cheek and be positive… but I got blocked again. I got angrier inside.
But I can still have those dreams. I may have to work at it, learn new skills, adjust my approach… but I am not blocked… I can have them.
And as I was going through my list, re-building my list of dreams and goals, remembering what I wanted as far back as a teenage boy, I then remembered that it is the enemy who comes to steal and destroy. Jesus comes to give us life and life abundantly. God wants us to LIVE.
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. – John 10:10
So take some time to go back and see where your righteous plans and righteous dreams and righteous goals were blocked. And then make new plans to achieve your goals.
Another verse comes to mind
The horse is prepared for the day of battle, but deliverance and victory are of the Lord. – Prov 21:31
You are the one who prepares your horse (your life) for battle and He gives the victory. Make your list of goals/dreams and prepare new ways of still having those dreams – and watch the feeling of blocked anger just simply leave.
UPDATE: I absolutely cannot believe how well this has worked. I am sure God has had a hand in this. I feel free. My head feels clear. I feel at peace. Any time I lose this, I can easily track down what is triggering my anxiety and find the source of the blocked feeling… and find a new way to do it.
As I journey through my recovery I have noticed two kinds of church.
The first kind is where everyone dresses well and the choir (music team) is well trained. The minister is called a pastor even if they don’t have that gifting. Everyone stands and sits together. Kids are ushered out. Lights, camera, action! And when the event is over, it’s time to do it all again, because the church must grow.
The second kind doesn’t concern themselves about the niceties. Kids are there, or not. They make noises… simply because they make noises. People stand and sit as and when they need to. People feel safe enough to go get coffee or tea at any time. people sit up against walls or up the back if they want to hang back because they are having a lousy day or week.
When things are going well in your life this first kind of church is great to attend. But if you’re in a bad place, needing to find comfort or support… it’s not so great.
In my walk I’ve come to easily spot who will give support and accept some of my past and not judge me for it. I’ve also come to see how many people in the church will try and “expose” my sin or refuse to eat with me because I am a sinner (as Paul appears to condone)
But the thing is… people sin because they have needs (like emotional support and comfort and love) that are not being met. How will rejecting the person ever help to meet those needs and help the person to heal?
The church should be like a hospital.
It should be a safe haven for the hurting. A place of rest for the weary.
A time for recovery and strengthening. A place to form healthy monday-friday relationships, not just sunday relationships.
A place where the sick get healed.
If you run a church… is your church a healing church? Do you intentionally and actively embrace the natural and normal lives of people? Or do you expect them to conform to YOUR idea of normal church life.
If you attend a church… is your church embracing you? Is your church set up in such a way that you feel able to be yourself and share? Is your church helping you become a healed person?
This lack of love is the underlying reason why people are increasingly reconfiguring. They are meeting informally and are trying to form stronger bonds with others around them. Read some of the Barna research.
It’s pharasaical to imagine that anyone is without sin. It’s insensitive to not embrace and support one another as they are.
In the video below, I have NO IDEA who this church is and I DON’T endorse them. But the message of rejection is all too familiar in my life and this video shows what it feels like when perfect people move away from an imperfect person.
And another WP header that you are free to use on your own blog.
I get my headers from here and edit them
http://www.freewebpageheaders.com/gallery
This is another WP header that you are free to use on your own blog.
I get my headers from here and edit them
http://www.freewebpageheaders.com/gallery/
I believe this example was given to me by God. I believe it to be true and accurate. I have done my best to portray it to you. Maybe ask the Holy Spirit to give you an “inner witness” about the truth. Search the scriptures to find out if this is in fact what Jesus came to do. Search Hebrews. Search Romans. See what Jesus said about Himself. See what Isaiah and others said He would do.
In the OT God promised many many wonderful blessings to His spiritual children. And in the NT Jesus and the other NT writers said that we all are His kids. Abraham was a believer NOT because he had the law, NOT because he was circumsized (he wasn’t) but because Abraham had faith in God.
For what does the Scripture say? Abraham believed in (trusted in) God, and it was credited to his account as righteousness (right living and right standing with God). – Rom 4:3
Since it is one and the same God Who will justify the circumcised by faith [which germinated from Abraham] and the uncircumcised through their [newly acquired] faith. [For it is the same trusting faith in both cases, a firmly relying faith in Jesus Christ]. – Rom 3:30
So there is NO DOUBT that the blessings are for you and me BECAUSE we are children of God just as Abraham was. Period. End of story.
So I imagine that there is this great big dam containing incredible blessings, healing, promises, intimacy with God, protection. You name it, it’s in there. It’s like the dam on the left. Absolutely full of the water of Life.
If you need to hone up on your blessing list try Ex 23:25-26 and Deut 28:2-13.
And we all want to be in the river that comes from this dam right? I imagine the river in Ezekiel (Ez 47:2-5).
Now we come to the tricky part. I’ve been to church after church and the river is NOT flowing anywhere. Most people are sick. Many people have debt. Everyone appears to NOT be in the river. In fact I’ve listened to countless teachers and none of them can tell me where this river is.
So in most of our lives IF WE ARE HONEST the dam appears to be more like a fortress. Like the dam on the left in the pic.
It’s ok to be honest. We don’t have the blessings that are promised to us. Pray and worship and fast all you like… until you understand what Jesus did for you, it’s not going to bring the excessive blessings that God promised. He promised TOTAL victory.
In Jeremiah one of the things that bothered God about His people was that they didn’t say “where is God” (Jer 2:5-6) they just listened to their priests that assured them that “all is well”. God wonders why the priests ALSO didn’t ask “where is God” (Jer 2:8). God actually called His people “stupid” and said they are thickheaded (Jer 4:22). Please understand, I am not DOWN on the church, I just think there is MUCH MUCH more for us.
God would have preferred that they engaged their brain a bit and asked the hard questions. Well… I was absolutely desperate so I asked the hard questions. I read the bible, saw the promises and I said… where is God?
So often I was told to have faith. I got SO SICK of being told the problem was faith.
In the end I found out the answer. Yes it was a lack of faith. It’s not that the AMOUNT was wrong. I had faith like a fire hose… it’s just that I was pointing the fire hose in the WRONG DIRECTION.
To have a “river of life” flowing through our lives will bring healing, restoration, blessing and more. What we need is to have a sluice gate to be opened in that dam wall. Something (or SomeOne) has to let the water out so it can flow into our lives.
Jesus complained that people are forcing their way into the Kingdom of God, rather than going through the appropriate door.
and everyone strives violently to go in [would force his own way rather than God's way into it]. – Luke 16:16
Then He explained that He is that Door. He is the way into the Kingdom. To the blessings.
I am the Door; anyone who enters in through Me will be saved (will live). He will come in and he will go out [freely], and will find pasture. – John 10:9
So let’s open the Door!
But how??
If the dam contains our blessings, healing and more… then what is the dam wall and why is it there? The dam wall represents sin. Sin is what separates us from God. It also separated the Israelites from God.
It is the reason that God’s blessings made right at the beginning of the bible do not flow to us. If you do a study of the OT, you will find He only ever blessed people who He considered righteous.
So we need a Door in that dam wall and we have one. Jesus. we know that the bible says that Jesus died for our sins IF we will believe that He did. It is only then that we will receive that righteousness and it is only then that sin is dissolved away. The barrier is removed.
But to one who, not working [by the Law], trusts (believes fully) in Him Who justifies the ungodly, his faith is credited to him as righteousness (the standing acceptable to God). – Rom 4:5
That Door is opened with faith. Simple faith. In Jesus Christ as the Lamb WHO TAKES YOUR SIN AWAY. That is the way to open this Door. Believe in Him. Believe in what He did. Confess it. Stand on it. Abide in it. (Abiding means putting up a tent and staying around).
It’s NOT by having faith that He will bless us. NOT faith that He will hear us. NOT faith that He will heal us.
It’s faith that He has removed the sin barrier between us and our Heavenly Father. That alone is what lets the river flow.
We spend far too much time believing in the river itself or the stuff alongside the river. We camp out by the side streams and tributaries. We have faith for the effects of the river, we fast for the fruit on the banks of the river.
No. Simply understand what Jesus came to do for the world and BELIEVE that HE DID IT.
Don’t say: Lord I believe You will bless me. Lord I believe You will do this and that. I believe I have peace/joy/love. That is merely positive thinking. Prayers like this are answered mainly because He is merciful and kind.
The way to open the floodgates into our life is to BELIEVE that Jesus has made a Doorway through the barrier of sin. His death IS that Doorway.
When that river of life begins to flow, it gradually brings healing and gradually brings blessings and gradually separates you from your past and iniquities.
From experience I can tell you it’s great fun when your friends ask why YOU always get the best parking spots. And you can point up to your Heavenly Father and His blessings. hehehe. (Just kidding. Mostly.)
I was just sitting in my lounge praying. My TV wouldn’t switch on (praise God) so I had nothing else to do… so I prayed for a bit. My prayer style is very basic. I do one of four things:
This morning was all stating the truth. Then I thought… since I’m already baring all of me to 250 people each day… how about I share a typical prayer as well, so that people know how I pray and what kind of prayer and faith works for me to stay in what I called the “spiral UP” where God pours healing and blessings down on me, because there is no barrier of sin separating me and Him.
Here is my prayer. It kinda just rambles on and is loosely based on Heb 9 and 10 and on like this…
If I am praying for people, which I am, then I usually simply say this: Thank You Lord Jesus that You paid for X. By simply stating just that truth, I am causing this “ultimate” truth to be true for that person. In this way I am doing what Jesus said we must do – clean one another.
It is the ultimate truth because Jesus PAID for the sins of the world once and for all, and we receive this truth by faith
Whom God put forward [before the eyes of all] as a mercy seat and propitiation by His blood [the cleansing and life-giving sacrifice of atonement and reconciliation, to be received] through faith. – Rom 3:25
It was to demonstrate and prove at the present time (in the now season) that He Himself is righteous and that He justifies and accepts as righteous him who has [true] faith in Jesus. – Rom 3:26
The simple reason why the enemy is denied access to your life (progressively) is because his strength is sin and you have decided that Jesus died in your place and paid for your sins. Therefore, the enemy has no rights at all and he and his henchmen (darkness, death, sickness) all have to leave. And they do. Progressively. Over time. Day by day.
I believe that we vastly understimate the overwhelming completeness of His victory.
You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross. – Col 2:13-15
So you just need to decide… what did Jesus do for you and then believe it. I will now pray for my healing. Join in for your own healing if you want?
So that’s it. That’s how I pray during the day. If I come under attack during the day, I simply say “Thank You Lord Jesus that You bought me with a price… You paid for me” and the stuff loses it’s grip and leaves.
The reason this works so well for anyone will hidden parts is that Jesus is the Lamb of God and what did John the baptist say He did? “Behold the Lamb of God that takes away the sin of the whole WORLD“. 1 John says the same. The OT foretold Him doing this. Ephesians 2 says He did it. Hebrews 9 & 10 says so too.
He paid one SINGLE sacrifice for everyone for all eternity. Therefore He paid for and redeemed your hidden parts too. You can confess His death and payment for those parts and for that sickness.
When He died He said “It is finished” and He meant it. It’s done. You RECEIVE what He did by the confession of your faith.
So let us seize and hold fast and retain without wavering the hope we cherish and confess and our acknowledgement of it, for He Who promised is reliable (sure) and faithful to His word. – Heb 10:23
Imagine that He deposited $100 grillion dollars in a bank account to cover everything… so make your withdrawal. You withdraw by faith - what is your confession? The only limit is what you can believe He did! Then stand on it. Don’t budge. Day after day, calmly stand. It will happen in layers. Bit by bit.
Derek Prince once said, the words used in Isaiah for what Jesus did for the world – the words are medical terms. So Derek takes them three times a day. hehehehe. Funny. But hey, I have found that is what works too!!
And you know I’m not kidding about any of this, I’m not talking theology here. Have a read of my posts, I’ve been through it. This Jesus character and what He did for me, that is what set me free and turned the tide of healing in my life.
This post has been forming and forming. God is doing wonders in my head and heart. Connecting thoughts, restoring emotions, healing memories. Thank You Lord!
As I grew up I repressed my feelings for various reasons. As you will see in this post, repressing your feelings has a very serious impact on how we live our lives.
Some of the reasons for me not feeling my emotions were abuse and I’ve written a few posts about that and how I recovered from it. This post is more about the other reasons that I repressed my feelings and the impact that had.
I lived in a home where there was intense conflict. Not the physical violence type, but other kinds. Anger. Rejection. Conditional love. My sister was always threatening to run away. Everyone seemed to be in pain.
My mom was as loving and kind as she could muster and she eventually had a stroke. I can only wonder how much the stress had to do with that.
My dad was a good man. As good as he knew how. Both he and my mom had their issues coming from their parents and coming from inside them. So, my dad dealt with the stress the best he knew how. He worked. A lot. And he spent money on the family, perhaps that was to compensate. Who knows.
My point is this: some kinds of abuse are not obvious. But they cut just as deep. And they can be harder to recover from, because they are hard to explain. If someone breaks down and says in sobbing tears that they were sexually abused, people immediately have compassion. But if you break down and say you can’t really put a finger on exactly how you lost your connection to yourself… people might find it harder to be compassionate.
So if sexual or physical abuse is the hard form, then emotional abuse (including rejection, abandonment, lack of affection, other kinds of lack) are harder to see in ourselves… but they are NO LESS a problem and ALSO need to be recovered from.
One way or the other, we need to become fully functioning adults. That means having wisdom, feeling our feelings, having the full range of emotions available to love the children and adults in our lives.
If we refuse to feel our anger, we will also lose the feeling of love. Suppressing your feelings means all your feelings are suppressed. Suppressing one, suppresses all.
One of the things that people learn in counseling is that in co-dependant families everyone takes a “role”. I recommend you read this article Family Roles In Addiction & Codependency. I was the “lost child”
Addiction and the Family Role 4, The Lost Child
The Lost Child is the silent, “out of the way” family member, and will never mention alcohol or recovery. They are quiet and reserved, careful to not make problems. The Lost Child gives up self needs and makes efforts to avoid any conversation regarding the underlying roles.
The underlying feelings are guilt, loneliness, neglect, and anger.
It is shocking to me how well this role describes the way I dealt with my childhood. I would sit down the side of the house and be sad. When I was tired of being sad, I simply decided to stop being sad. I cut that off. Chop. Snip. Slowly I felt less and less. Inside me I built up some unwritten rules…
Some of those are more true than others. “It’s not OK for me to have problems”.
This was SO TRUE for me (or so I thought) and as a result, when I experienced sexual abuse as a teenager, I didn’t tell anyone. I knew that the family had enough trouble already and I didn’t want to add to that.
Besides that, I could handle it (I thought). I knew they could never handle it, they would lose the plot and family life would be even worse (I thought). And it would be my fault… again! (I thought) I decided I was strong enough to handle it. Snip. Chop. There go some more feelings and I was left even less in touch with my body and my emotions.
And any teenager or child who can’t feel their emotions loses a significant way of “hearing” when danger is near. Even worse, with no access to my loneliness I no longer felt a pressing need to FIND LOVE and so I isolated myself even more.
But not hearing anger doesn’t mean I didn’t have any. I did. Not feeling lonely doesn’t mean I wasn’t. I was. And the anger was secretly growing. The loneliness was growing too. But I refused to be angry (my parents absolutely never fought) and I didn’t feel like I had any choices. Eventually I buttoned it all down and decided to weather the storm of my life. I decided that I had to survive and get through. I decided that some day I would get to a place where I could recover.
I ran after God as long and as hard as I could, but I could not connect to God emotionally and so I could not connect to His HEART. So when I read the bible, I saw a violent and angry God, not a loving God. I saw a destroyer, not a healer.
Not being able to see His love for people meant that I mainly saw His laws and rules. I was well on my way to being Pharisaical (bound by rules and law and cut off). Not feeling my emotions, grace and love were foreign concepts to me. Therefore, no matter how hard I tried to connect to God, I could never really connect to God.
I shoved down my anger toward God, because I thought that being angry was NOT ok. I shoved down my loneliness. I shoved down the yucky feelings. I thought it was all un-biblical. I was SO wrong.
Not feeling my needs doesn’t mean I didn’t have needs. I still had needs. And as I repressed my needs, they only grew and grew. Like spending $100 on your credit card each month will eventually build up into an enormous debt. I had been collecting debt since I was born. I tried to cash out as a 20 year old with suicide, but God intervened. He assured me that He had something for me to live for. I struggled on. Things got a bit better. I got a job. I moved into a share house on the beach. I got some self respect and self esteem.
Then I got married. It should have been a wonderful thing, but we were both damaged and hurt – and I suppose that we simply proceeded to hurt one another. In some cases my (righteous) anger should have raised it’s head and forced a confrontation that would have saved me a great deal of pain… but I didn’t feel my anger and so it didn’t raise up and didn’t save me from the pain.
Feeling my emotions and needs would have saved me a lot of future pain. Our feelings of fear, indignation, discomfort… these feelings help us to stay safe, they help us to recognize when we are being abused or used (which is abuse) or being taken advantage of (which is also abuse).
I guess I also went back into the role of lost child again. I didn’t communicate. She perhaps went into her role (I imagine the relationship wasn’t much fun for her either).
I tried to follow the literal interpretation of the bible and turn the other check, forgive and forget… but this was a disaster of an approach in a marriage because above all else marriage requires feeling your emotions AND feeling the other person’s emotions. It requires people to be adults and face the issues together. It requires communication and the ability to bond and connect.
We did our best, but we were highly dysfunctional. It ended with me literally disintegrating as a person.
I had this tearing sensation in my head one day and I feared for my life. I stopped walking. I felt as if I had even one more shock wave from my feet, I would literally die. I stood there holding my head trying to stop the tearing sensation happening inside my head, not wanting to breathe too hard in case I died.
In that moment the complete repression of my feelings had built to a critical mass. A lack of love, a lack of self respect, a lack of support, a lack of connection and a build up of debt (the $100 concept) had reached a crisis point.
The crises had now turned into something much deeper and more serious. To protect myself from totally falling apart, my brain cut myself off from myself.
I forgot what I had been through. I forgot the pain. I forgot who I was. I forgot how I had tried. I forgot what I had said. I forgot my past.
All I knew was I was in crises. I felt like I was a new book, learning everything from the start again. I remained like this for about 2 years as I grew stronger as a person . It was like a complete time-out. I felt utterly disoriented. But in this time I grew as a person.
At first I was a person who didn’t believe in counseling, didn’t feel emotions, couldn’t remember my past at all, couldn’t even remember the events in my marriage.
Over time, with God leading me by the hand, and through many trials I evolved into someone who now has a sense of what God wants for us… it is to be WHOLE and HEALTHY.
I went for HEAPS of counseling. Some of it was utterly harmful. I went for HEAPS of deliverance. Some of it bordered on the occult.
But then I ended up with loving people and I took off and flew like a bird. I was parented by loving people. I watched and listened and learned. I learned about people. I learned about me.
About 2 years ago God began to re-integrate me. Bit by bit. Some memories came back. Slowly… so that I could accept them. Then when I accepted the memories, my emotions came back. If I accepted the hurt emotions from back then, my NOW feelings came back. Eventually connection to my body came back as well. Part by part.
I began to remember what ACTUALLY happened, not what people told me happened. As I gained the FULL picture, I began to understand myself, I began to respect myself, I began to get a clearer picture of me. With a better understanding of me, I began to make better decisions.
I began to find my way. I could FEEL my way. I could SENSE my way. I was increasingly in touch with myself. Feeling me meant I could feel others too. My relationships deepened. The sense of isolation lessened. I did less frequent porn and less other things as I felt more whole inside.
The general sense of completeness increased. The feeling of warmth began to flood my life in December 2006. Now it’s June 2007 and I can hardly remember NOT feeling warmth in my body. THANK YOU LORD!!!
To be fair and balanced, during these 4 years the enemy took full advantage and I suffered enormously. There was a massive spike in his rights to me. There are various reasons for this, including being taught to be under law (closing this and that door) instead of being made righteous by my faith (leaving the rotten house!). So as I was under law, the enemy has all the rights and I was utterly exposed to him. He took full advantage.
Another reason for the darkness in my life, in my house, around me house… was that the bible says that if someone has hatred (which is just a LOT of anger) then they walk in darkness.
Whoever says he is in the Light and [yet] hates his brother [Christian, born-again child of God his Father] is in darkness even until now.
Whoever loves his brother [believer] abides (lives) in the Light, and in It or in him there is no occasion for stumbling or cause for error or sin.
But he who hates (detests, despises) his brother [in Christ] is in darkness and walking (living) in the dark; he is straying and does not perceive or know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes. – 1 John 2:9-11
I was in darkness BECAUSE I had refused to let my anger out. Like the $100 concept, my anger had built up into hatred. I lived in spiritual darkness even though I was a completely and utterly committed Christian who was running hard after God.
The double bind that the enemy counted on was that I was disconnected from myself, so how could I know that I had hatred? If I couldn’t reach the part of me walking in hatred, I wouldn’t know. He settled in for what he thought would be a lifetime of harassing me.
And he did. I would find myself talking in my sleep or talking to a spirit while dozing in the bath. It was weird and freaky and no amount of “spiritual warfare” would set me free for long.
How wrong he was to think that Jesus didn’t have an answer. Jesus had the answer… 2000 years ago. It’s just that no one told me!
IN JESUS NAME I learned that He has paid for our sins. I learned that I am rescued. (See All of your sins are paid for… IF you will believe)
since a death has taken place which rescues and delivers and redeems them – Heb 9:15
By believing that Jesus has paid for and set me free, the enemy lost all his rights and hidden advantages over me.
I came into fellowship with God and with His blessings and healing pouring down on me, it took only a matter of months for my healing to accelerate and for the enemy to NOT ONLY completely lose his rights to me, but to actually be forced AWAY from me.
Healing came to all of me. Seen and unseen. I would watch it happening day by day. I still watch it, every day.
I learned a VAST amount about spiritual warfare. I learned about how to get clean, because Jesus paid for ALL the sins of the WHOLE world. And I stood on that, in order to deprive the enemy of his rights.
For then would He often have had to suffer [over and over again] since the foundation of the world. But as it now is, He has once for all at the consummation and close of the ages appeared to put away and abolish sin by His sacrifice [of Himself] – Heb 9:26
Christ, having been offered to take upon Himself and bear as a burden the sins of many once and once for all, will appear a second time, not to carry any burden of sin nor to deal with sin – Heb 9:28
Every time the enemy comes against me my prayer is a simple confession “Jesus paid for me. Jesus paid for my house. Jesus paid for my land”. And the enemy is driven off. Truly we can overcome!
And they have overcome (conquered) him by means of the blood of the Lamb and by the utterance of their testimony – Rev 12:11
I learned heaps about people and how we work. I learned about God’s loving nature and His goodness (and about law, righteousness and more).
These 4 years (from the break until now) are an incredible story of God’s healing, reliance on God when my mind was freaking out and being built in His image. Almost all of my posts on this blog (500-ish posts) are explanations of what I learned.
When Jesus intervened supernaturally in my life as a suicidal 20 year old and He encouraged me to go on, that He had something for me, He had in mind that I help other people to find the way out. It’s truly a life worth living.
I heartily recommend you steel yourself (be strong and very courageous – Joshua 1:6,7,9,18) and learn what Jesus did for you, stand on it to free yourself AND overcome the enemy AND THEN turn and set others free IN JESUS NAME.
I said to My God
Deliver me in Your righteousness and cause me to escape; bow down Your ear to me and save me! Be to me a rock of refuge in which to dwell, and a sheltering stronghold to which I may continually resort, which You have appointed to save me, for You are my Rock and my Fortress. Rescue me, O my God, out of the hand of the wicked, out of the grasp of the unrighteous and ruthless man. For You are my hope; O Lord God, You are my trust from my youth and the source of my confidence. -Ps 71:2-5
For my enemies talk against me; those who watch for my life consult together, saying, God has forsaken him; pursue and persecute and take him, for there is none to deliver him. – Ps 71:10-11
and He said to me…
Shall I not punish them for these things? says the Lord;
- Jer 5:9
People who go through physical abuse might lose touch with their BODY.
If we experience something that we cannot process, we cut it off. If the experience comes through our body, we may cut off awareness of our body and how it feels. To regain the feeling of our body, we need to FEEL our body. This can be a physical sensation or emotional.
It is only in the last few years – as I received healing in my emotions and in my thoughts – that I have felt connected to my body again. At first I was washing in the shower and I slid the soap cloth over my chest and I FELT my chest.
At other times the connection was emotional and internal. Suddenly I would FEEL MY LEGS and I’d realize that I had not been in touch with my legs before.
The reason I disconnected is that in order to survive physical abuse I had to disconnect from my body. But now, I have grown to become STRONG enough to face those hidden memories.
When I grow in strength – that means I’m emotionally stronger, more self aware, I have a support network of friends – then my conscience (or brain) gives me some of the past hidden hurts (hidden in my memory) and it waits to see if I can process the hurt successfully. If I handle it without losing control of my life, it pauses a bit and then hands me some more stuff to process. If I get overwhelmed, it might not give me anything for another few months until I am strong enough.
As I write this, I wonder what how much of this process was God and how much was my brain. hehehe. God is SUCH a good God isn’t He? THANK YOU LORD. But either way, the process repeated itself over many years. Bit by bit.
People who go through emotional abuse might lose touch with their EMOTIONS.
It is called dissociation. We all lose touch when we day dream. That’s no problem. But when we lose touch entirely with memories and events and eventually our feelings, that is when we are hiding our sad experiences from ourselves. The most extreme forms of this are DID/MPD.
The solution in my experience is the same… to pray for healing, to know the truth of what Jesus did for me, to grow and enlarge as a person, to become an adult and put off childish ways.
When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. – 1 Cor 13:11
The way back is to be strong and courageous and face life head on. Grow and become an adult. Learn to be strong emotionally. Learn social skills and build a network of friends. As you do this, you will be able to face your past with greater and greater ease.
People who go through sexual abuse might lose touch with their SEXUALITY.
This makes sense, because if the pain came through sex, in order to cut off the pain, we then deny our sexuality. So we might remain a child (because children don’t have sex) or we might ignore those feelings (as if they are dirty or wrong). But the problem is that if we repress our feelings, we lose the ability to feel. So in my experience, as I face up to my past, I began to feel MORE sexual and not less. And as I overcame feelings of helplessness I began to feel MORE potent and alive.
And the opposite is true too… as I began to accept that I am sexual and sexy (without acting on it in terms of sex before marriage or anything else) I actually found that this acceptance of myself and acceptance of my feelings resulted in me FEELING MORE and having a better natural and emotional and NON-sexual connection to others.
It’s a bit of a cycle that goes around. Deny the pain (a feeling) from this experience and as a result lose those other feelings as well. Acknowledge and accept those “bad” feelings and receive back these hidden good feelings.
If you shut off your bad feelings you lose your good feelings too. To acknowledge your bad feelings and accept them, is to be reconnected to GOOD feelings.
Facing up to my painful past has resulted in me receiving greater rewards than I ever imagined. I now have a MUCH richer and warmer and move loving world. I honestly had NO IDEA that people were this good. I had NO IDEA that life felt so wonderful. I had no idea that I had so much to offer give.
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. – John 10:10
Now I know I am loveable. I know I have the ability to love. I know that my past is… past.
In order to write these blogs and get the immense enjoyment out of helping people and discovering what I am really good at (helping people!) I had to accept and process my hurt past. Because I accepted my hurt past and loved myself anyway, I have got access to a wonderful new life of feelings, warmth and connection to myself and other people (and God!)
Abuse is a bad thing, but God can use it for good.
I hope you can see that the solution is
Did you know that one of the names that God gives to Himself is “Jehovah-Rophe – the Lord who heals”. I have found that this is absolutely true. God DOES heal.
JEHOVAH-ROPHE:
“The Lord Who Heals” Ex 15:22-26. From “rophe” (“to heal”); implies spiritual, emotional as well as physical healing. (Jer 30:17, Jer 3:22; Isa. 61:1) God heals body, soul and spirit; all levels of man’s being.
Source: The names of God
I have experienced all of these things and I thank my Heavenly Father in Heaven that I have learned to be an overcomer. You can too. He helped me immeasurably, He wants to help you too. May God bless you.
If our parents caused us to strive for perfection, or if they didn’t hear us when we talked about how we felt, we may have stopped talking. As a result we may not be in touch with our likes and dislikes.
In the same way, because of abuse (emotional, physical, sexual, neglect, etc.) we may have stopped listening to the part of us which is called our conscience. If we don’t have that inner voice telling us what is good for us and bad for us, we will lose one of the biggest sources of information in our life.
If you want to read about this in more detail I recommend this sermon transcript Developing a Conscience. In my post I will skim over the top or high level issues and I won’t include heaps and heaps of scripture. So for the low down, read that sermon.
Our inner conscience needs to be listened to. If it’s not working well, it might need to be restored and THEN listened to.
The reason a healthy conscience is useful and valuable to us is because it tells us when we are happy, when we are not happy, when we are safe or not safe.
For example, if our conscience sends up a message of being uncomfortable, we need to stop what we are doing and look around. Is someone somehow threatening us? If so, LEAVE! Move away. Children needto learn to listen to this inner voice… if someone makes you feel scared because of the way they are looking at you, tell an adult.
And for us adults, the signal is the same, the uncomfortable feeling we have inside. The solution is similar… move to be near people who make us feel SAFE, or move AWAY from the person who is giving off this feeling of danger.
If our conscience sends up a message of anxiety, we need to listen. We need to act on it. We must listen to it and change our behavior. That is partly how we will heal and partly how we will become safe.
I always try to maintain a clear conscience before God and all people. – Acts 24:16
We DON’T have to intellectually understand why this person (or situation) is making us anxious, but we DO need to LISTEN to this feeling. Our feelings need to be heard by ourselves and we need to react to what they are saying – otherwise those inner feelings will simply stop.
If our conscience stops warnings us and our feelings no longer warn us, then we will find it very difficult to navigate the waters of society. You might have heard that 90% of all communication is non-verbal? It is an immense amount of information is passed “on the quiet” and we send and receive that information as emotions and they are displayed through our body position and through pheromones.
Pheromones are why we can walk into a room and FEEL the anger. But if we can’t feel the anger or danger, if we can’t feel the anxiety or the fear… then we will have difficulty staying in safe waters and we become an easy target for abusers.
Another way to understand our conscience is to think of an inner voice. Unfortunately our inner voice might say negative things to us
and this is a sign of an unhealthy conscience. The solution is simply to TALK BACK and state the truth. the ultimate truth is this one
there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus – Rom 8:1
So if there is no condemnation, simply refuse to accept what your hurt conscience is saying to you. And it also helps to recognize that your conscience was hurt by someone and it’s their words that are being parroted to us. The words of a father or mother (or abuser) can be replayed in our thoughts over and over. Simply TALK BACK and state the truth.
I felt dirty on the inside of myself by the time I was a teenager. So when I met really nice people, I would move away from them because I didn’t want them to become infect with “whatever” I felt I had hidden inside of me.
If only I had known. When people suffer abuse, they do exactly this – and the isolation creates an enormously bigger need and problem. Isolating ourselves is NO SOLUTION.
We may have yucky feelings on the inside, but that is no reason to isolate ourselves. It’s just a good reason to ask God for help in prayer. It’s a good reason to find a church where they will pray for you. It’s a good reason to think carefully about who is a healthy friend and who is not AND STAY WITH THE HEALTHY ONES.
I hope you can see that the solution is:
Did you know that one of the names that God gives to Himself is “Jehovah-Rophe – the Lord who heals”. I have found that this is absolutely true. God DOES heal.
JEHOVAH-ROPHE:
Source: The names of God
I have experienced all of these things and I thank my Heavenly Father in Heaven that I have learned to be an overcomer. You can too. He helped me immeasurably, He wants to help you too. May God bless you.
A part of becoming an adult is… choosing to BE the adult in YOUR life.
I had to learn to NOT place other people in a parental position above me. Don’t put the pastor above me, I am his/her equal. Don’t put teachers above me, I am their equal too.
So instead of looking to an adult for…
Stop asking people “what do you think?” as much and decide what you think. It’s actually ok to ASK the question of many others, but the DECISION of what YOU THINK is what will matter in your life. I see people as me what I think and they nod their heads and simply accept what I say. But this is not adulthood. They must hear my words, hear other views – and make a decision of their own.
You and I are the equal of each other. There is no other human being who is better than us. They will have different responsibilities to me (they may run a school or university) but they are a fallen and broken human who also deals with stuff.
Seeing other people as they really are helped me to accept myself. If I am fallen and you are fallen and we all are fallen… then I’m “normal”. You’re normal. We all are equal.
Instead of looking for adults to show me the way, I have to find my own way. Instead of placing myself in a “one-down” position to people I admire, I learned to admire them and remain their equal. Instead of accepting their views as my own, I had to decide what my own views are (and they might be the same, or be different).
If you are physically an adult (not still living at home under supervision) and have a decision to make, in order to become an adult you might need to stop going to your designated adult (or parent) and make the decision yourself.
Paul puts it bluntly…
When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. – 1 Cor 13:11
We are not to be one-down to our partners either. The bible says that we leave our parents (one down) and cleave to our partner (in the side/ribs as equals). Leaving is painful and scary. Leaving the illusion (if you had ineffective parents). Leaving the comfort (if you were fortunate to have supportive parents). Either way you HAVE to leave.
Adulthood (like manhood or womanhood) has to be learned. There is no way around it. Your parents may have taught you how to make decisions. They may have encouraged you to own your own body, own your feelings, own your will, own your decisions… so for you leaving is not difficult.
But for the rest of us, leaving the illusion of safety requires us to own our choices, own our weaknesses, recognize our strengths, feel our emotions (and learn to manage these emotions).
It’s a challenge, because when we see our weaknesses, we have to decide WHAT TO DO about them. How will we handle them? If we are prone to panic, we might need to learn how to calm down. If we slip into a state of passivity, we might need to learn about being intentional.
But the good news is that when we have left, we can grow, and when we grow into our own adults (or into our own parents) we no longer look at the world as big and scary filled with powerful strong people, as we become adults we see the people in the world for who they really are… and we see that we fit in it as equals. It’s not scary.
I believe a child is born good. God makes things and He says “it is good” (because He made it) and then somehow we get damaged. Perhaps our hyper-performing parents might tell us to deny our likes and dislikes, perhaps we deny our own needs in order to rise to their expectations, perhaps a trusted adult touches us in the wrong way… whatever it is, we fall from being healthy and happy.
Then, as we become adults, we slowly begin to realize that we’ve got issues and stuff. I felt broken and dirty by the time I was a teenager.
It took me another 20 years to realize that no one else was going to “fix” me – except for me (and God). No one could “clean” me – except for God and me. No one was able to shield me – except for me and God.
This realization was a very hard experience. To realize that I was essentially on my own in this. I thought “now what?” So I looked around me at the people and things and options I have in my life, which I could use to recover.
That change – from “who will help me” over to “I must help me” is one of the steps towards becoming an adult. We realize that we no longer have parents to clean us, and we realize that we have to clean ourselves. At first I felt alone, but when I saw the friends that God had placed around me, I saw I wasn’t alone.
All I had lost was the illusion that I had a parent looking after me. I am the adult now.
I had to look after me. I had to learn to parent me.
Up coming Congressional Bills:
House bill H.R. 1592 and Senate bill S. 1105
….[that ] would make negative statements concerning homosexuality, such as calling the practice of homosexuality a sin from the pulpit, a “hate crime” punishable by law. This proposed law would make it a crime to preach on Romans Chapter 1 or I Corinthians Chapter 6. Or even to discuss them in a Sunday School class. (Source: Abiding)
Take a moment to think about this… if you share this aspect of the gospel you could go to jail.
You tolerated losing prayer in schools. You tolerated abortion. When will you take a stand?
Do you realize that if you tolerate this, it won’t be long (maybe a few years) before a minority group sends a bill up that says you can’t say that Jesus is God and any other religion is not following God?
I’m not kidding. Over here in Australia we recently defeated such a court action. This blogger covers the case. He summarizes…
I’m a big fan of freedom of speech, even freedom of outrageous and unreasonable speech, ‘I’ll disagree with what you say but not your right to say it’ and all that. It’s a fundamental principle of a liberal democracy and should only have a bare minimum of restrictions. Obviously there are legitimate restrictions, principally for defamation and ‘hate speech’.
These laws go far beyond traditional concepts of hate speech. For one, they prohibit the inspiring of such non-hating emotions such as “serious contempt, revulsion or severe ridicule” which is on the face of it unconscionably broad.
the case was eventually thrown out by the supreme court and may have to be retried. Christians sat in the courtroom praying and even speaking in tongues throughout. The media had a field day. But it was thrown out – and that is what matters.
But now the evil intention of suppressing a Christian’s right to FREE SPEACH is rearing it’s head in the US. Don’t underestimate what you are facing.
Do you realize that if you don’t take action you will be ensnared by your own compromises? In a few years you may go to jail for proclaiming God’s Name. Bush said he will take a stand.
Don’t tolerate compromise. I am confident that God is willing to hand us over to these things. He handed the Israelites over to the evil things that they tolerated. He will do it to us.
It is up to us to say NO to the enemy and YES to God’s law and His ways. If you do not take a stand, you WILL be ensnared by your compromise.
The promise has been there right from the beginning. Exodus is one of the earliest books and the promise is made there, right at the start of the walk out of Egypt. The promise is very complete – and it’s made FOR AND TO YOU.
You shall serve the Lord your God; He shall bless your bread and water, and I will take sickness from your midst. None shall lose her young by miscarriage or be barren in your land; I will fulfill the number of your days. – Ex 23:25-26
So the promise has been there right from the beginning. It’s yours. Do you want it? I want it! In fact, I’m getting it… day by day… bit by bit.
Yeah baby, I’m through the Door and on the Vine. You want in? You want on? Keep reading.
There’s just one gotcha. It’s contained in the next few verses…
And Moses took the [remaining half of the] blood and sprinkled it on the people, and said, Behold the blood of the covenant which the Lord has made with you in accordance with all these words. – Ex 24:8
Our sins separate us from our Heavenly Father. This is a bummer because He has heaps of good stuff to give us.
Without exception, He only gave life to those who were made righteous by their faith in Him. But very few people managed to have such a faith. And even when David had that faith, he still sinned (Bathsheba) and brought the kingdom into trouble.
But now, Jesus did something altogether different. He paid for all the sins of everyone throughout time. And in this way law, sin, death, sickness and insufficiency and everything else was disarmed and rendered impotent against us.
So this may be the first time you have read this. It might be the 100th. Maybe you even studied it in seminary. But nothing changed. You’re still addicted. The enemy still smashes your life and ruins your marriage. You’ve still got low self esteem. Those abuses from long long ago still wreaks havoc in your relationships.
Because KNOWING the truth won’t change your life. satan knows the truth, it doesn’t save him. Knowing is not enough.
You have to add your faith to it, agree with it, say yes it is true for ME. Walk by faith. Make it personal. Stand on it.
A lot of people pray for blessing and pray for peace and they believe “by faith” that it is theirs. Many will spend countless hours asking for healing and believing that they have healing and freedom.
That is all fruit. It is all the result of a pivotal issue – what did Jesus do? And what did He do for you?
If you believe that the bible is correct when it says that Jesus took your sicknesses away, then you’re going to see physical healing. WHAT you believe Jesus did is totally the pivotal thing. BTW the Hebrew word is a medical term and it is confirmed in the gospels that it meant taking away literal sickness.
If you don’t think that Jesus did that for you… then you’re not going to automatically see these things in your life.
In order to really believe He took away all sickness from you, you may have to really get to grips with who He was and why He died and where sickness comes from. You’re in luck… the first 8 chapters of Romans extensively deals with that.
Perhaps you need to explore the spiritual aspects of healing and what He did to achieve that for you? Luckily for you God inserted Hebrews 7 and 8 for just that.
Do you need a concise summary of what He did for you? Try Colossians 2 and 3.
Jesus is the Door…
So Jesus said again, I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, that I Myself am the Door for the sheep. – John 10:7
I am the Door; anyone who enters in through Me will be saved (will live). He will come in and he will go out [freely], and will find pasture. – John 10:9
and if you can get your head around that… you will discover what I have discovered. You will see how faith in His completed work on the cross causes you to go through the Door and into peace and intimacy with your Heavenly Father.
Faith is a decision, not an emotion. Base your decision on what you read in the bible. Read, think and decide as if you only have a audience of One. Don’t make the person next to you happy, don’t come into agreement with unbiblical people, don’t compromise what you read in the bible. Read it. Accept it. Decide to agree with it.
The question before you is… WHAT did Jesus do for you on the cross?
Look at these words of Jesus
When He reached the house and went in, the blind men came to Him, and Jesus said to them, Do you believe that I am able to do this? They said to Him, Yes, Lord.
Then He touched their eyes, saying, According to your faith and trust and reliance [on the power invested in Me] be it done to you; – Matt 9:28-29
Your decision about what He has done on the cross totally defines your experience of Jesus and of the Holy Spirit and of your Heavenly Father.
So decide…
The bible says that the enemy was defeated on the cross by Jesus. If you believe that He did, then it’s true for you. The enemy is defeated in YOUR LIFE.
The bible says that Jesus utterly paid for the sin of the world, once and for all. If you believe that He did pay for ALL sins, then sin can no longer keep a hold on you and peace and healing will gradually flood your life.
The bible says that Jesus has cleansed you and perfected you through His one sacrifice on the cross. If you believe that He did, then there is no longer a separation between you and your Heavenly Father… and all of His promised blessings and favor and gifts can come to you.
The bible says these things are true. Now it’s up to you… Do you believe that I am able to do this? Then According to your faith and trust and reliance [on the power invested in Me] be it done to you;
It is your decision about what Jesus did on the cross. Read the bible and ask yourself… WHAT DID Jesus achieve on the cross FOR YOU?
Are you brave enough to believe the immense things that the bible said He did?
The key to healing is to decide what Jesus CAN do, but equally you must decide what He DID do on the cross. Consider what it means for Him to be the Lamb of God. What is the result of your faith IF you believe HE HAS ALREADY paid for the sins of the world?
Consider these verses…
since a death has taken place which rescues and delivers and redeems them – Heb 9:15
For then would He often have had to suffer [over and over again] since the foundation of the world. But as it now is, He has once for all at the consummation and close of the ages appeared to put away and abolish sin by His sacrifice [of Himself] – Heb 9:26
Christ, having been offered to take upon Himself and bear as a burden the sins of many once and once for all, will appear a second time, not to carry any burden of sin nor to deal with sin – Heb 9:28
So the bible clearly says… He is never going to pay again. There is NO MORE burden of sin. All the sins from the foundation of the world up to the very end of it all… it’s ALL PAID FOR.
Is that why the bible says we have an overwhelming victory and total freedom… IF WE BELIEVE in Jesus Christ?
we have been made holy (consecrated and sanctified) through the offering made once for all of the body of Jesus Christ (the Anointed One) – Heb 10:10
For by a single offering He has forever completely cleansed and perfected those who are consecrated and made holy. – Heb 10:14
So the bible says that BECAUSE your sins are paid for (IF you believe) then you are in fact made clean and cleansed and perfected and made holy and consecrated and sanctified!
Wow. But it depends… do you believe what the bible says that Jesus did for you?
after He had offered a single sacrifice for our sins [that shall avail] for all time, sat down at the right hand of God, then to wait until His enemies should be made a stool beneath His feet – Heb 10:12-13
So given that He has overwhelmingly overcome… He is now simply waiting for His church to enter into what HE HAS DONE and to overcome.
But the key is your faith… what do you believe that Jesus did for you?
I am SO EXCITED for the church. Yes we are in Egypt, yes we have settled for less, yes we have become involved with idols of the culture we are surrounded by.
BUT God has made us a great nation. we will come out, just as they came out.
Jesus walked on the earth to SHOW what He can do for those who believe enough to reach out to Him. In Luke 7:37 the woman is described as ESPECIALLY SINFUL. She believed that JESUS CAN HEAL AND SO SHE SHOWED LOVE AND REPENTANCE AND jESUS HEALED HER.
The people asked Jesus for help because they believed HE CAN. Now, after His death, we must decide if He DID do it – once and for all on the cross. SO WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE HE DID ON THE CROSS?
Book: If My people (v35!) (1.1MB) - A free daily devotional. 167 pages. Final ver. Just editing now.Key prayer scriptures (v3!) - "He is the God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were." - Rom 4:17
2008-9 Prophecies and Miracles v2 (3MB) - A collection of all blog posts relating to the prophecies and fulfilled miracles during my stay in Australia. <100 pages. Feedback welcome!
