I have shared some of my experiences with visitors. In particular this last post (Recovering from sexual abuse) was sad. A few people commented how it has the ability to help people – most likely by removing shame and stigma, because I hope that post tells people that we don’t need to hide for fear of rejection. And hopefully it opens the lid on recovery for some people. So… mission accomplished.
This post hopefully will be able to provide a counter-balance. How far can someone go who has suffered a lot? How far can God take that person into an abundant life?
I am committed to the teaching of “faith, love and hope”. Faith in Jesus Christ is crucial for salvation and deliverance. Love for ourselves and others and God is the command Jesus gave. Hope is the reason we get out of bed, the reason we have families etc. This post is about hope.
In spite of where I have come from and what I have experienced, God still gives me hope. Here is a quick story to share with you what He showed me last night.
It won’t be a big surprise to some of you that I don’t really get the whole family thing. My family of origin was painful. Everyone was in pain and life was hard. My life was hard. Deep down inside me hope was almost extinguished. So why have a family if you’ll just go through that again? I got married… went through it… so why on earth do it again? Madness!!!
But…
But do you know what… in the last few months I have come to this surreal place in my life. I like me. I like my life. I’m having fun. I love my friends. I enjoy discovering who I am and how I work.
I’ve come to a place where I not only know how to do life my own way, but in fact I’m doing it rather well!
Then an interesting thing happened 6 months ago. I began to realize that I see women as a danger to my happiness. The wrong woman could tear down what I have built in my life.
It kinda makes sense that I would think that, given the strife I’ve been through. (I’m sure I wasn’t a bed of roses either!). But this stranger danger approach of safety first consistently kept me isolated from yummy women. Actually that’s a good thing… but with my time of having a relationship rapidly approaching, this attitude is not useful any more. It has to go.
So somehow God had to help me see that women are not a danger to my happiness. So I went to a relationship coach and that was good. Read some more relationship books. Also good. Went on a relationship preparation course (for people thinking of getting into a relationship). That was really good.
But still, one look at a gorgeous woman and I’d panic. Heh heh. Not good. That has to go. Women are not the enemy. They are not dangerous. (Yes… some are… and avoid those). But in general, I had to learn to see that most women are not a health hazard. God continued His work on me.
I began to attend another relationship improvement course and it was good. By now I get how to do it, I’m attending mainly for the people, for the small lessons I can learn from the Christian elders. The way they live their lives, how they make choices, their attitudes, their lifestyle.
Last night…
And then came last night. if you were wondering where this post was going… this is it. You’ve arrived!
I went to have a coffee in civic. As I sat there I felt like God somehow dropped into me the observation that I am happy in my life. It’s not all perfect and roses, but I am happy. I agreed. And then He somehow showed me this image of my family being a family of ONE. That ONE is me! It’s a perfectly valid family and it’s working really well for me. No need to change.
But… what would it be like if I shared my happy life with another happy person? Then it would be a family of TWO happy people. Two happy people doing life together.
Wow. This was profound to me.
Then as time passed I felt like God dropped the clanger. The bombshell. What if two people could communicate and they did life together well and were in fact happy… wouldn’t they want to do life with more people? Like… maybe… some children?
Wow! I mean WOW! I got it. (I had never got that before.)
Tah dah!
And so, welcome to the new me. 
Filed under: Hope
