A popular book starts with the words “it’s not about you”. Well… that book conveyed it’s true message very well, but unfortunately the first few words were disastrous for our self-image. We lost the plot on that one!
So let me tell you loud and clear… it is about you. You matter to God. Jesus came to earth and suffered and taught and died for *you*. God *is* focussed on you. You do matter.
Before we were Christians we lived ignorantly of God, and we are now aware that we should be living differently. But how?
Ecclesiastes says we should simply enjoy life and IF God speaks then obey Him, otherwise… just live the best you know how. Solomon wrote this book after a whole life of trying everything. I too have tried many doctrines and faith and hope teachings. In the end it seems that I will read the bible to understand (to a limited extent) God’s character and to understand what He wants from us.
He wants us to love one another. Thats His big thing. He said so in the OT and in the NT. How you love people is going to depend on who you are, what abilities, what resources you have (money, car) and what dreams you have bubbling away inside you.
If you step out with the intention to love, He will support you, because His eyes are always looking for ways to *support* people who are loving one another.
Did you notice He said support? He wants us to care enough to do something. We do… He supports.
i spent decades of my life wanting to be used and waiting for God to free me and heal my relationships – but in the end it was me who had to begin actively caring for myself and actively caring for others.
Although my heart was always for God, i was not actually embracing the life He had given me, nor the world He has made for me. I didnt see God as loving and my own personal situation was so filled with pain that i could not see evidence of His actions.
The Nicene creed had left a terrible scar on my mind that ‘i am not fit to gather up the crumbs under Your table Most Merciful Lord’. That is verbatim what it says and I believed it.
I felt worthless and unloved in a dark and unloving world.
Billions of people feel this way.
Where God wanted love, self respect and beauty, satan has sown arguments and self loathing, impossible expectations and misunderstanding.
I know God carried me all these years – only to eventually bring me to a place where i do not need to be carried by Him any more. It is in this place of personal strength and ability that i can walk.
Jesus *has* made me fit to ‘gather up the crumbs’ and more! He has clothed me in Himself.
It’s no exaggeration to say i was co-dependant on God. I wanted to become less, i wanted to somehow merge with Him and lose this life in which i had suffered so much that i had been suicidal many times by the time i was 21.
Little did i undertand that i was already being helped by God and carried. I would discover more and more that He was planning on healing me to a point where i built my own identity, and i made my own decisions, based on my own goals, which i had decided on simply because i enjoy to do certain things in my life.
And to think that i once spent months trying to not use the word ‘I’ because i thought it was being selfish.
I didn’t want anything – I thought it was selfish. Aren’t we meant to DENY SELF? No. God once challenged me to do a search in e-sword for the phrase ‘i want’. Holy cow! Try it and see. Wanting is totally biblical.
God wants us to exist, to walk and learn to love others and embrace life. As we learn to walk, this can be a scary time.
Where i once believed God witheld good things – because i didnt see those things in my life – i now had to see that the bad things (from other hurt people) had drowned out my ability to see the good things which God had been placing in my life.
God wants you have a good life and enjoy it. but don’t turn these things into idolatry and when He blesses you, be sure to bless others. have joy and love, they are good fruit. 🙂