Marriage, love and healing

This will probably be my last post on this “relationship” topic for a while. In the fantastic conversation with Jennifer I learned a lot. On her blog site she has a post on this topic and in the comments at the end of the post she wrote these words…

Debbie Maken, in GETTING SERIOUS ABOUT GETTING MARRIED, discusses this issue at length, highlighting the fact that there is no gift of singleness, but rather one of celibacy. And they are not the same. And very few christians are given the gift of celibacy.

She points out that there are more singles today in the church than ever before, and, she claims, this is NOT because God has suddenly deviated from His “be fruitful and multiply” mandate.

Rather, she says, it is because our culture within the Church has come to see what God has for us as a totally separate entity than His “mission” for us. Men and women are grappling with the issue about whether or not it is God’s will for them to marry…

she claims that but for a very select few whose ministries would make marriage harder for them (like a Mother Theresa for example) the answer is clear and was given to us in Genesis. She humorously inserts that teaching Sunday school would NOT preclude one from the mandate to marriage! 🙂

Good words. Good logic.

For a while now God has been showing me more and more deeply that it is the lack of love that damages us and the restoration of love which restores us.

A lack of love can come from our family, significant people in our lives and/or friends – and of course, He is the source of all that is good, He is the God of love and we’ve been separated from Him. Restoration of love can come from same sex friendship, restoration with our family of origin and from having a loving marriage.

Yesterday I felt God really reveal to me how healing a loving marriage can be for damaged people. He seemed to be smiling on it.

Conversely, a marriage between unhealthy people could be devasating. It doesn’t have to be damaging though and we absolutely don’t have to wait until we’re perfect before we get jiggy wid it. Love is a very healing thing and this is why we are commanded to love one another and to pray for one another.

In the support that a loving partner provides, we can then go on to work on ourselves so that we recover fully and live life abudantly – as Jesus intended for us.

One response to “Marriage, love and healing

  1. Right on brother!!!!
    It is the very things that keep people lonely – like thinking they can never marry or re- marry) because of past hurts( like I have thought about me) that keep people( like me) from trying again. It is so scary to think about risking being vulnerable again, but that may be just what God uses to help heal me.

    I have thought that it is like needing medicine to cure a disease, or a shot, but being afraid of the cure- and dying because of fear of shots.

    I hope and pray that you get the amazing love of your love and all the romance above and beyond what you ever thought possible. It is a real, kind, compassionate, intelligent person like you who should get the woman you want- desire and really like to be around. I pray that God gives you the very best amazing partner- who is just right for you!
    I am tired of jerks getting married, and really great people who just happen to be really hurt, being left alone. It is not fair, and is part of satan’s plan to keep the world from seeing that marriage can work.
    As I am writing this it is starting to make me really angry- a righteous anger, at all the fear that people who have been hurt others by others’ evil actions feel. It is wrong to tell us( me) that singleness is “my calling” and I should just learn to live without love.
    That is SO wrong! God’s will is healing! Not self- denial and frustration for the rest of my life! It is satanic for me to believe that it is God that wants me to keep me alone forever.
    Being broken by the Lord, is one thing, but too often I mistake beating myself up for His discipline.
    You are a fabulous man Mark!
    Good job,
    Thanks for this site. I do believe I had a little healing here!
    Praise the Lord for FREEDOM!

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