Recovery from abuse requires personal responsibility


Abuse strips people of their identity. As a result our sense of identity might be damaged or entirely missing. Restoring a correct identity of God as a loving God is an importantstep to being able to restore a correct understanding of yourself and of people around you.

If you have a damaged identity you might be trying to merge yourself with God… but that’s not what He wants for you. He wants you to exist, to live and to live a wonderful and abundant life of your own.

No matter what or who has hurt you, your pain is now yours. Your pain, your difficulties and your emotional challenges are now your responsibility. You may not be responsible for why what has happened in your life (childhood) but you and you alone are now totally responsible for what you will do with this woundedness.

But here are some true truths about you:

  • You are a good person – kind, honest, loving, generous
  • You are a good man/woman – attractive, charming
  • You are a capable man/woman – intelligent, competent
  • You are always improving – I learn and grow and embrace change
  • You are always in the process of healing – I take responsibility for my own growth and God helps me
  • You have good boundaries – and I’m not afraid to use them
  • I (and not God) am responsible for my life.
  • It’s your life. He will help us with it, but we are the ones living it.

Here are some truths about Jesus:

  • He breathed the world into being and He can breathe new life into you
  • He loves you
  • He is not a performance-based God
  • He loved you before you ever tried to “be good”
  • He wants us to obey only two commands – to love others and to love Him
  • He has set us free from absolutely all other expectations
  • He has a set of guidelines for what will make our lives “go better”
  • He has low expectations of us because He knows our limitations and He knows the damage the world/the thief has done
  • He is patient and kind
  • He has compassion on us
  • He understands our lives and our daily issues better than we do
  • He came to rescue and love you, not to judge you

To some people this is all obvious. Yay for you. ūüėÄ

To many others in our “modern” society this is revolutionary and hard to accept. It clashes so badly with opur experience of life. It’s particularly difficult to accept for people who have suffered abuse in childhood… which is MOST of us.

To those who are challenged by these concepts, may I suggest you take it slowly and print this page out and paste it behind your toilet door and read it slowly a few times a day… you will slowly see that all of this is true. You can then be released from faulty thinking and come into your true and healthy potential as a child of God who is living an abundant life.

The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows). – John 10:10

You are important to God. He loves you. You matter to Him. He does not want you to deny yourself so you stop existing, He wants you to exist and live and love and be loved. God is love. He is a smiling, happy, loving God. He has compassion on the broken hearted and came to heal them, not to judge them.

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