Take a look at the image below. The jug is you and the cup that you are pouring love into is the other person.
Now what would happen if the jug (you) is empty of love? Would you have anything to offer to other people? No, unfortunately if you do not love yourself, you cannot love them. This is the sad truth behind so many divorces, the people tried to love their partner without loving themselves. It can never work, because the bible says you must love other people AS you love yourself.
If you are the jug (below) and you have love for yourself (boundaries, self respect, identity etc.) then you will have a lot to give to the people around you.