Day 2 FNT fast: changes and challenges


What the heck is a FNT fast? Fasting negative thoughts. It comes from this post.

Today I was having a bit of a hard time in the morning. After praying last night to ask God to establish me in those 16 things – and just generally in my life of course, since I am *His* planting for His glory – and then I said “goodbye” to my house where I’ve been for 5 years, goodbye to all the other things and dreams – and I went to sleep. Once again I slept like a log. Lights out. Ahhh, bliss. As He said it would be, the enemy is so far away from me that I don’t even have to think about him.

Grief

But this morning I saw myself in the mirror and I could see the grief that was coming up from inside. Yesterday was so much fun… I should have known that today might be hard. hehehehe. So I struggled to continue saying goodbye to things and suffering the grief that comes with it. And then I figured to say “hello” to the new, so I don’t feel the loss. Like in marriage… parents aren’t losing a son but gaining a daughter. The cup is half full. Fasting negative thoughts, remember?

I want my instant fix!

So I struggled through, went to a movie, laughed. And then afterwards I struggled more. So I got really upset and went “on strike” spiritually. I told God that I’m “downing tools” (spiritually). I said I have been praying to get fixed in two specific areas and I’m tired of waiting for it. I moaned. I groaned. One of the areas is my weight. I’m tired of being “bigger” than I should be. Yes… I know about comfort eating and so on.

I don’t give a rats about all that. I want my instant fix! I want Him to touch me and zap me! I pointed out the pool of bethesda, He just healed that person. When I’m in this mood, I’m quite hard to reach. Even if there is a reply, I don’t want to hear it. I suppose that sounds like a child. Yeah. Probably.

And guess what. No… He didn’t zap me. Yes… I am still over-weight. hehehe. But what He did do is somehow touch me so that I went and got right into my car and drove over to this gym that I’ve been meaning to join for about a year. hehehe. I parked and went inside and it’s freaking fabulous. On my way there I was saying WHY don’t you just touch me and get it over with. And He seemed to explain that leaders can’t have the quick fix, they have to go the LOOOONG way around and learn about life and develop self control and so on. Ugh. That self control thing again? hehehehe.

More changes

So I was at the gym. What a FABULOUS gym. Then I saw an ad for something else… I don’t want to go into all the details, but trust me, it was God’s timing. It’s like He was saying… and isn’t it time for this too? And they are located in the SAME building! So I got going in that thing as well.

And then I came into work, to get busy wid it (na na na) and can you see the look of astonishment on my face? Just now we got yet another big order for the business. And that’s after the rush of sales over the last week. What the? Last month I made a loss, this month we’re in profit and next month we’ll be rolling in it.

What caused these changes?

Apart from the prayer and the attitude change in me (described here), I can only says that God has done something. He has acted on my behalf. I don’t want any credit for this. I just hope and pray that He keeps on. He said He would, so I’m just trusting that He will.

All day I’ve been thinking about how George Mueller described his prayer life… and how I felt at that time it was how God wanted me to pray. And now I’m doing it… and He’s responding.

But this is profound to me. Scary. Could it be that the promises of the bible are really going to come true for me? After all this time? If it can for me, it can for ANYONE else. Just imagine… the promises that He made… actually happening in YOUR life. Really happening. Really, really. Not fake. Not hope. Not unseen. Really happening.

He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. What He did then, He can do now. I need Him… for real. We all need Him. America needs Him. We all really need Him.

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