Fantasy stops us growing into adults


Faith in God causes us to have courage to step out and try things. Hope in God’s promises cause us to step out and believe that this time will be different to last time.

You’ve read Hebrews 11? Some say it’s the “faith chapter”. No, it’s the DOING chapter. The first book of the NT after Jesus is called “faith” is it? Ummm no… it’s called “The book of ACTS of the Apostles”.

Because of faith Abraham DID SOMETHING.
Because of faith Moses DID SOMETHING.
and so on…

Because of your faith in God, are you DOING SOMETHING? Faith without works is lifeless. The bible says so.

Healing is the same. You can believe all you like, but healing is something that we DO in partnership with God. You can have all the hope in the world, but until you take action to grow, you will remain immature.

Healing comes by giving and receiving love. Initially we may struggle to do this, but it becomes easier as we learn HOW to give and receive and we learn HOW to see other people’s boundaries and their preferences.

It is not possible to become emotionally whole unless we are in relationships with the people around us. But as we give love and receive love – or as we learn to… then we can grow, heal, evolve and heal and become whole.

We also can’t come to wholeness if we refuse to be an adult and grow up, take ownership of what happened to us and mature. What happened was not good, but ignoring it won’t heal it and won’t make it go away.

For the longest time I ignored what happened. I wished it away. I believed that believing in God would make it all go away. Years went by and I remained emotionally immature. I got together with emotionally immature partners. Together we struggled through.

Eventually I had to say – this is MY life. It’s not God’s life. It’s not someone else’s life. It’s MY life. Ok, I have been given bad things and I have deep scars and wounds… but this is MY life and I have to heal. No human will heal me, but I can ask God to help me and I can ask Him to send the money for counselors.

*I* have been given this this life to live. This is my situation. So I FINALLY began my long long journey into adulthood.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; now that I have become a man, I am done with childish ways and have put them aside. – 1 Cor 13:11

A friend of mine from years ago was once about to commit suicide. He was so sad that he felt that he couldn’t live any more. He was literally about to jump. God said to him “go live your life!”. So he didn’t jump and he went and lived his life to the full.

How full is full? Well, that depends on you and your ideas and your energy levels etc.

The thing we fail to teach young Christians is the reality that the world will take you for a ride and leave you in debt and penniless. Governments around the world care less and less for their people and more and more for businesses and tax revenue.

But God has plans for you. He wants you to live an abundant life. He wants you to eat at a feast in the presence of your enemies. A feast! He wants you to have kids, have a house, plant a garden – even if you’re in exile in Babylon! He wants you to love and be loved. He wants you to share your extra clothing and extra money. He wants to bless you so you will be a blessing.

What happened to you has made you fallen. It might be hard to accept that God wants this for you. But that was your old life, now it’s time for the new man, the new creation, the new life, the Kingdom of Light (not darkness).

Only getting up and growing and learning to be an adult can result in you growing and becoming whole. Using “faith” is just an excuse for staying immature and it puts all your relationships at risk.

Just like faith without action won’t result in healing, hoping for healing without action won’t result in healing either. Only growing up and learning about adulthood will result in us becoming adults.

No wonder God goes on and on about the vital importance of loving one another! It’s through loving Cho that we could have stopped the massacre at Virginia Tech.

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6 responses to “Fantasy stops us growing into adults

  1. He sees me rather than how I see myself. I want him to hold me and embrace me. Many nights I lay in bed crying asking Him to hold me because I never been held or loved before. Many times in the past I thought an embrace was that somebody loved me, but it wasn’t. I’m already angry at the world and bitter for hurting me and letting me down. I don’t want to stay like this. I know there’s much more God has for me and I want to experience that, and I want to experience his love that he has for me because I come to the realization now, you can’t get it from this world. This is the first time I ever wrote my feelings to a total stranger or to anyone at that because I never talk to anybody but God about how I really feel, the real me.

  2. This site was just what I was looking for. Every since I was a little girl I felt so empty and so alone. I have been emotionally abused, physically abused by so many people, even my own family. I always felt like an outcast than my other siblings because I’m the only one who doesn’t have a baby picture, and on all my graduations, even from sixth grade or high school my mother was never there, I was always there alone and then my friend’s mom had to take me with them to go eat just to be nice, but my mom attended everyone elses. It was obvious but I never thought about it by now. I was always the black sheep and grew up felling insignificant. I have been in very abusive relationships and I feel so empty. I’m a sinlge mother with three children and I love them all the same. I feel like I wouldn’t know love if it came and fell on my lap. My self esteem is so low that when people try to be reach out and be friendly, I take offense and yet I’m in another realationship that once again is just another was in the cycle and I’m scared to let go because I feel that’s the best I’m going to get. Yeah, I pray but sometimes I feel it’s not affective and these are the cards I was dealt and have to deal with. Looking on the outside you would never think but inside it’s just dry hollow bones. I want to know more about God and how

  3. I came to this site looking for answers to the feeling of emptiness I have. I am in college, every time i pick up a book to study i dont, I cant, I feel so empty. Ok if I go ahead and start studying I dont cocentrate, I forget everthing I study and ofcourse have failed in all the exams I have taken.
    Then i pick up a bible to study thinking ok i dont have to be tested on this, I know i need to have a realationship with God, I desire to have that relationship but i dont know how. I’ve tried to pray, evertime I do, I feel ilke my prayers dont go beyond the ceiling board. Then I stop praying thinking well whats the point. But most of the time I dwell in what i have done. I feel lost I konw God is a forgiving God, But at the same time I do remember where i read in the bilble about God forging us But do we have to continue sinning so that God can forgive us? I know you said we should avoid the -ve bible phrases but I cant seem to let this go. I have had two abortins and every time I think about it I cry, and find other ways to get my mind off of the thought. but ofcourse it never goes a way I feel so lost and i realy dont know how to get out and return Home.
    Mark do u have any suggestions on how to get out of this. I read about starting by loving myselfe then others and loving God and forgiving,l wish I knew how to do that.

    Its a great site thanks for taking your time to reach lost souls like me. As I was reading I had hope but again as u mentione hope has to go with works. I realy dont know How to do it but I trust that the loving and kind God who created us will see me through this and ofcourse he has used you to help me find my way back to him.
    You can writ to me or Just say a prayer for me.
    Thanks
    Peres.

  4. A huge AMEN to that last comment. I have heard so many disparaging remarks about the young man. Too many have forgotten that God paid the same price for him that He paid for us.

    Peace
    neva

    Love can heal. God bless you Neva! – Mark.

    • This morning i woke up feeling as if life had no meaning for me, feeling nothing , iam glad i read this page, i dont how iam going to start to heal but, iam going to try, please pray for me and with me

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