How to: Increase the joy in your life

I used to think that life came without a learners manual. Then I found the bible. hehehe.

The bible says this…

the Truth will set you free – John 8:32

Now let me be the first to say that this “Truth” is Jesus Christ. BUT. This is also a good saying in terms of general truth setting us free. Let me explain.

I have a picture of myself immediately before an event in 1998. I have a picture of myself a few days later. The difference in me is astonishing.

A few days before I was in love, happy, glowing, energized, living life and happy to be alive. A few days later I was disconnected, lost, aimless, in shock.

Before that moment in my life, I loved to be in the mountains and I enjoyed having drinks on pebbly beaches, I enjoyed dancing. After that moment, no matter where I was in this gorgeous world (trekking near Everest, on the back of an elephant in Nepal, tramping up to glaciers on the south island of New Zealand)… it didn’t matter… I just couldn’t connect to the joy that was available to me.


Why couldn’t I connect to the immense joy that was available to me in my life? Because I was suppressing my anger and pain from the event that shut me down.

Why does suppressing pain shut down anger? Because if you shut off an emotion, you are actually shutting off access to that emotion… and therefore to ALL emotions.
So… to shut off access to pain is to shut off access to joy. To shut off anger is to shut off happiness. You’re not cutting off1 single emotion, you’re cutting off access to your emotions.


There is SO MUCH joy available to us. Our kids. Our friends. Our sports. Our cars. The plants outside. The sky. Colors. Family. Simply being alive!

If you can’t feel that joy, the problem is you are not letting yourself feel something.

So one way of increasing the amount of joy that you can feel in your life is to look back to the moment(s) when you decided not to feel anger, or hatred, or pain, or anguish or whatever… and for your own sake, for your own happiness…

  • talk to someone about how you felt back then
  • talk to someone about what you felt
  • talk to someone about the thoughts you had
  • talk to someone about the feelings you had
  • talk to someone about the awful choices you faced

If you will unblock those negative feelings, you will find your positive emotions will come back into your life.

A few more thoughts

  • Talking is more than just forgiveness, it’s actually talking it out
  • Joy is connected to peace, contentedness, calmness and more


the Truth will set you free – John 8:32

3 responses to “How to: Increase the joy in your life

  1. I am so blessed to have found this website…I’ve been going through this past month from a hole I dumped myself into for 7months, a relationship that I cherished very much, that I allowed to strip me of every self-esteem and dignity I had, yet I wouldn’t allow myself to hate this man, because of his position in my life and others. Though I allowed myself to hate me and ever since i came out of that hole, I haven’t been the same, this emptiness filled my life to the point that ending my life was the best thing i could have done to stop the pain, the tears and hurt and I coudn’t understand why God has forgiven me and is restoring my relationship with again. Then, yesterday I did a google search and typed in how does a Christian stop feeling sad and when I saw this blog, I just stopped everything I was doing, mind you I was at work, and read and read and I said God Thank you, someone understands, someone felt what I’ve been feeling and you expressed yourself so well. Thank you for being such a great instrument of God in my life and countless others.

  2. What an picture to think of… we are made in Hid image… including emotions… (Genesis 1:27).

    Thank you once again for a thought provoking post.

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