Forgive to be forgiven

This is a part of a series about forgiveness and handling memories, first to last

This post begins here…

I have written a lot (1, 2) about the complete forgiveness that Jesus has extended to us, by Him dying in our place on the cross and in this way making COMPLETE ATONEMENT for those who accept His sacrifice. His work is absolute. It is complete.

The bible says that the payment is SO complete that the bible describes death and sickness and sin as ANULLED. Do you know what an anullment is? If you get married your marriage is listed in a register. If, on your honeymoon, your partner cheats on you, by law you can claim the marriage was not a real marriage and the next time you visit the register there will be absolutely NO sign of the marriage ever having been registered. That is how completely death and sin and sickness and law is anulled by the death of Jesus for those who will accept His sacrifice.

But. And this is the small print. There is one way to undo the wonderfully complete forgiveness that Jesus has extended to you. Let me show you how our hard heart undoes the wonderful work that Jesus did on the cross through His blood and His body.

Let’s look at the prayer that Jesus advised us to pray.

Pray, therefore, like this: Our Father Who is in heaven, hallowed (kept holy) be Your name.

Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven (left, remitted, and let go of the debts, and have given up resentment against) our debtors.

And lead (bring) us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

For if you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

But if you do not forgive others their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses. – Matt 6:9-15

So there you have it. It says in 3 verses (highighted in red) that we are not forgiven if we don’t forgive others. Ouch.

He made a full payment on the cross. It’s as if He deposited a billion-gazillion dollars (everything we could ever need) and He put it into our bank account in our name. Millions of people never go claim the payment that was made – and that is the saddest aspect of this world, that we don’t come to Jesus and accept His full payment and receive the full release that He made for us.

But some people come to Him, accept His payment – and still don’t receive it. These verses show us why. 3 times it is spelled out. Verses 12, 14 and 15 all make it clear. If you want to be forgiven, you have to forgive.

Believe me when I say I know how hard it is to forgive. But. If you will soften your heart and let the past be in the past, you can receive your ownrelease.

New blog

I now have another very personal, intimate blog and I invite you to read through it, from the start to the end. That page is the end. It’s only 31 posts and each of them is short.

Keep on reading

Some Christians want God to snap His fingers and heal them and they refuse to get help. Is this the right approach? Maybe take a moment to read my post: Should Christians get counselling for healing?

For further reading maybe try this post Emotional healing… what’s it like? or read some of my other posts on healing. I have written a companion post that you might benefit from reading: How to fill up the lonely hurt inside.  Get into the discussion. Share your experiences. Help someone. Receive help from someone too perhaps.


These posts might also help you:

and also try

Or try some other posts that I wrote:

These are posts about growing and forming deeper relationships that let us feel connected and warm inside:

God loves you!

Please share this post with someone who might benefit from it. Post it to your FB wall. Tweet it. May God bless you – and I look forward to reading your comments and replying to them!

12 responses to “Forgive to be forgiven

  1. Pingback: God has a plan to prosper you… what to do while you wait | Faith. Hope. Love.·

  2. Pingback: Why does the bible say to love yourself? | Faith. Hope. Love.·

  3. Pingback: What to do when you’re feeling empty inside | Faith. Hope. Love.·

  4. Thank you so much for writing these. I have a hard time forgiving and I am trying to have a better relationship with God. I really think what you said has helped me. I am only 15, but I am having a hard time forgiving my mom for cheating on my dad and my best friend who hurt me. My mom cheated over 5 years ago but I still resent her for it. My parents got back together soon after that, my dad forgave her, but I couldn’t. I want to some day use my hurting to help others going through the same hurt, like you. Thank you so much for this site.
    God Bless You,


  6. Thank you for creating ths site. I have been dealing with something my sister has done to over 12 years ago. God has blessed me with a professional job through trying and continually saying I forgive her. But I constantly think about the action and get angry all over again. This site has help me pin point the area I am in, where I need to go and why I need to forgive. I want to be released.

  7. Hi Mark

    Great site. I thank God for you. I have ljust listed it as one of my favourite sites. I will definitely return to visit. God bless you and your loved ones. I somehow came into your site as I was seraching on the meaning of the new wineskin parable.

    Greetings from Singapore

  8. I like to think of sin as a red bird that onced lived inside of us and when we are forgiven it few away and you can’t see it because it flew as far as the east is from the west. God doesn’t see it because He let it go. Forgiveness is also an act to not let ourselves obsess about what people have done and let it go as an act. It says in Matthew that there was a man who owed a lot of money, perhaps thousands and his master let him go but when the man knew that his fellow servant owed him a hundred dollars or less, he rang his neck and yelled, “Give me my money now!” When the master found out he was greatly hurt. Same as our heavenly Father will say if we hold grudges and resentment, “You wicked servant, I forgave you and you did not forgive.” His sacrifice was so great as he forgave us and nothing can compare to that awesome sacrifice so we live a life pleasing unto Him.

  9. Excellent thoughts, Mark. I’ve been away for a few weeks trying to get things lined out on my new web site and blog. It was definitely worth my time to stop by here today, though.

    Even though it may be difficult for you to continue to write about the road to healing, it is my sense that your insightful words are needed by many. They have certainly been a blessing to me!


  10. I think its important to know that you also have to forgive YOURSELF for your own sins. God completely forgives us through Christ’s atonement. But we have to confess our sins to God, repent of our sins, turn 180 degrees away from them and turn back to God asking His forgiveness. THEN we need to BELIEVE God has forgiven us and LET GO and LET GOD forgive us completely. We need to FORGIVE ourselves and not take these sins back upon ourselves by always remembering them. God has taken them away from us as far as the east is from the west…

  11. Good post, Mark. Forgiveness is the crux of our relationship with Christ, but sadly we don’t see how vital it is to every other relationship he gives us. It’s why we lack unity in the body of Christ. We don’t know the commitment of forgiveness.

    I miss you, brother. We should talk sometime soon.

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