Preparing myself, and a place


During my time of praying for His bride I’ve learned about His love for His bride. It’s something I am deeply thinking about. The fact is that He loved “her” (His bride) before she knew Him. He loved “her” even while she was rebelling and refusing to come to Him.

And in the meantime, what is He doing? Preparing her for Himself. What else is He doing ahead of the Marriage?

I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there you may be also. – John 14:1-3

These two things are profound, don’t you think? The bride is the church. It’s so symbolic. As I pray I get glimpses of His heart and I know this must be my heart for my bride to be too.

This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. – Eph 5:32

Here is some more info on the preparation… from a groom’s perspective… click the link to read about what happens for her…

 The Preparation

Once the marriage covenant had been established, the groom would leave the home of his bride and return to his father’s house.  He would remain separated from his bride for an indefinite period of time usually not to exceed twelve months.  During this time both the groom and the bride had specific preparations which had to be accomplished prior to the wedding ceremony.

The groom was required to prepare living accomodations for him and his new bride.This customarily involved building an addition to his father’s house large enough for the two of them to live in.  The strong family ties inherent in the Jewish culture of Christ’s day normally precluded the building of a separate house away from the family.  The groom’s preparations would include not only the structure, but also everything needed to set up a household.  He would provide all that he could afford in order to offer his bride the most comfort and pleasant living accommodations possible.  – BEHOLD THE BRIDEGROOM COMES, Written by: Monk, Charles

Meantime, in my own personal walk I’ve been able to see that I’m not ready yet. Jesus Christ was (and always is) perfect, but I’m not. So for me that means “preparing a place” and that includes preparing me too! 🙂

People often ask me how I am doing. I just keep asnwering “wonderful” and it’s true. Everything that matters is wonderful. Family relationships have been and are being restored. I’ve had to say goodbye to some people who were sowing trouble and limiting me; and say hello to others who build me up and speak life into me.

And yet… I’m not ready. This is the best I’ve ever felt. I have the most control over myself that I have ever had and over my life that I’ve ever had. I am able to determine my future and interact with whomever I want (that is a first, believe it or not). Freedom. Ahhh and it feels good. It’s what He promised and now I have it.

My faith has never been stronger and I’ve learned so much. I’ve got an increasing number of Godly friends. I’m getting out and about – despite the financial limitations I have. I can hardly remember what co-dependance even felt like, always yearning and feeling like I’m half a person. I don’t feel like that now. I have to think hard to remember those things, it feels like a lifetime ago.

People may struggle to move on with me and adjust to my new reality, but while they dither, I’m long gone and in another world of experiences fuelled by His mercy, blessing and favor.

I’m also delighted at seeing so much answer to prayer in the world around me. We are going to experience incredible things in 2010 – bad and good – that will astonish us. The end result will always be good, even if there is a hiccup along the way. Hiccups are opportunities to grow. Hiccups are moments where people adjust to the new us; and we adjust to them. That’s growth, it’s healthy!

During my times of prayer for His bride I’ve also seen the Heavenly interaction between Jesus Christ and Yahweh. I’ve learned about things in this respect which I will share later. I first plan to digest what I’ve learned, to be sure of what it means, before I share it.

So now it’s time to focus on His bride, and He will focuss on mine. It’s also a time to prepare me. This is awesome. I can honestly tell you that in all these decades I’ve hardly ever prayed for myself. And then maybe 6 weeks ago someone said “it’s time to be selfish, it’s time to stop worrying about and putting everyone else first“. Now as the weeks go by I find the Holy Spirit is releasing me from speaking about/into politics, releasing me from praying for the world, starting me praying for myself. I’ve never had a season in my life where I intensely cared for myself and built myself up in mind, body and spirit.

I’m already enjoying it and it’s only just started! 🙂

I have never been in this position before. And I’ve never felt so good. I’m totally excited about what is to come, but I know that I’m not ready yet. It’s too soon. I need a place for her. A major part of “the place” is preparing me. I’m not ready yet, but I’m also not far off from being ready.

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