This last weekend was momentous. As readers (who have been reading for years) will know, I have had a very troubled start to life. And as I recovered during the last 8 or so years, I have learned a lot. Through the power of Jesus Christ I have gradually come out of more and more muck. And this last saturday there was a momentous breakthrough.
I will give you some more (very personal) context. I’m sharing this NOT to feed some people’s inquisitivenes, but to help those who want to know how to get free and how to live a better life – through Jesus Christ – on a personal level.
If you have been following politically related posts, this one is not for you, if you want to be free from addiction, or learn about one of the ways that Jesus Christ walks His disciples through things into victory – then this is the post for you! 🙂
In the past I have yearned for a partner, nd like everyone, I need approval, money, things that make identity (like my own posessions, a home, my cats) etc. During my first year back from Australia, I was called to a time of prayer. As you know, that went very well. The world is now on a path to revival, which has already started.
Then there was a distinct moment when that season ended. And strangely, my income moved up for a time and then declined dramatically. I was (and am) eating bread and bananas (cheap) mainly. In someone else’s house. With no spending money, I can’t join in festivities with friends or go to church. I am making efforts to earn an income, but people aren’t buying!
Think about it. When Jesus went into the wilderness, He didn’t eat for 40 days and the bible says “He was hungry”. I am hungry. Emotionally. Physically often. That was when the devil came to tempt Jesus Christ to make His own food, to no longer trust God to provide.
And on Sat the enemy had me right where he wanted. He offered me free drinks, free pizza, free alcohol (I don’t drink) and free lift to different places. Then at about 1am I was told to have an “open mind” as we went to a place. I had a bad feeling about this, but I couldn’t get an answer to a straight question “where are we going?”.
It was a strip joint. And if you have read my blogs, you will know that I suffered a lot of abuse in my childhood, and sexually related things are a major weakness for me. This has been a major reason for me not getting involved with anyone, because I didn’t want to bring this into her life. It’s unfair.
So here I was. Hungry. I haven;t had money in my pocket for so long. Always dependant on others. And now I’m in a strip club and absolutely stunning women are pressed against me with a playful smile.
To say that this woman was attactive was an understatement, but al I could think about what my future wife. I wanted to get out of there. But I had no airtime and no sms bundles – I couldn’t text or phone anyone to come fetch me. I would be there for an hour or more until the other guys wanted to leave.
The Holy Spirit responded to my prayers with two verses from Ephesians 5 “have no part in darness” and “let your behaviour show darkness up”
Take no part in and have no fellowship with the fruitless deeds and enterprises of darkness, but instead [let your lives be so in contrast as to] expose and reprove and convict them. – Eph 5:11
And wouldn’t you know it. I was suprised to find tears welling up inside of me. The lady was from Moldova and I asked where that was, in Romania she said. I realised, these are the women who have been human-trafficked into the country. She might a slave here.
Her face was like porcelain, no emotion. She was empty inside, just like the men in here were empty inside. And finally in my life I was full inside, I had warmth, faith, hope for the future.
I asked her to step away from me. She seemed stunned. Maybe no one had asked her to do that before?! I said I didn’t want women to touch me like this. She stepped away, and no women came to tempt me after that.
I’ve always found it so hard to defend my boundaries and assert what I want to happen to me and what I don’t want. Having this personal bill of rights on my wall in my room has helped. Every day I remind myself of my rights.
I asked the main guy for the car keys. He was also stunned. He asked why. I explained that I used to do this thin sometimes where I was feeling lonely and low and empty, but I have found a way through Jesus Christ and I feel good inside and I don’t want this. I told him that I wanted to cry for these women, they are victims of human traficking.
My heart has been changed!
A new heart will I give you and a new spirit will I put within you, and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. – Ezekiel 36:26
I weent and sat in the car. For over an hour I was aware of the spirit of lust around the area, but I had no strong deisire to go inside.
I cried. Big warm tears sliding down my cheeck. I cried for my relief, at now knowing that I can have a relationship and I won’t be bining this filth into that person’s life. I cried for the empty men and women in there.
I cried for the homeless people outside – I kept wondering, do they just sleep there on the roads? One of them had wooden plank and looked dangerous, or a moment I considered going back inside to relative saftey, but then Jesus Christ gave me a parking spot RIGHT IN FRONT of the guards.
I tried to sleep, but I couldn’t. I was so relieved at seeing the end of the devil’s hold in my life. I wasn’t crying any more, I wa praying. Begging Jesus Christ to use me, to do the same for everyone, the women inside, the men inside, the homeless outside. To use me totally to bring this relief to everyone.
This relief and release DID NOT come through counselling, nor through taking drugs, nor through anything other than accepting the finished work of Jesus Christ. I put on the new self. I am in His image Made perfect IN Him.
I begged Him to use me, I begged Him to bring revival, I begged Him to revive us all.
And I knew the truth, I stated it so clearly, unless He strengthens me, I am not strengthened. Unless He builds the city and protects it, it is not protected.
All other promises are merely hope, they are an ilusion. It’s not church, or worship which did this for me and can do it for you. I sat in the presence of a powerful spirit of lust for over an hour. I could drink for free, got entrance to theplace for free, could have gone with that woman for free… but I did not… not because of rules, nor because of church or my inner strength… but only because of my new nature in Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ was tempted when He had no natural way of feeding Himself and when He was hungry. I was hungry and needy. Then the enemy left. And the animal came to Jesus Christ and angels comforted Him, and He came out walking in power, and His ministry began.
I’m so excited about my future. 🙂