The man and woman metaphor

To understand what God wants from us, we need to understand what a man wants from a woman.

So let’s look at this scripture

let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. – Eph 5:33

To understand what God wants from us, let me describe that scripture in a much more natural and human way.

Imagine a woman comes to her husband and says that she needs ABC money and suport in order to take care of her needs and the needs of the children that they have together.

Let’s say that the man makes a commitment to earn that money and bring it to her.

If his wife then goes around to her girlfriend and moans about her useless husband and what a bad provider he is and how she doubts he will ever amount to anything and that he won’t bring her what he said he would… pretty soon he will be demotivated and eventually he might become unwilling to keep his part of the arrangement.


If while he is toiling away on the farm or at work in a building somewhere, he knows she is praising him to her children and to her friends, telling them how much she admires him and believes that he can do anything he sets his mind to – and she is saying this even before he has brought home the money that she asked for – then any man will move Heaven and Earth and be massively motivated to excel in his work and to perform for her and for his kids.

The issue – from a man’s perspective – is does she believe in him, does she see the best in him?

You see, God/Jesus Christ also feels this way about us. I wrote a post describing

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church… – Eph 5:25

You see, this is God’s behaviour in the OT as well… take a look

to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.” – 2 Chron 16:9

So now we can see that the kind of faith that Jesus Christ wants is very heart felt.

He wants worship NOT because it’s our duty, but because we admire Him. What man wants a wife who decides it’s her duty to be intimate with him? Men want their partner to admire them, to see the best in them!

Jesus Christ wants us to be like that towards Him too. If we ask Him for something, He wants us to believe we HAVE received it. The reason for us believing that so confidently is not legalistic, it’s because He is a Man (God) of His Word. What He says, He will do. He doesn’t break His promises.

Can you see how highly relational God is?

See with the eyes of your heart

I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened – Eph 1:18

If you can grasp this all in an emotional way, with the eyes of your heart, then you will begin to see the depth of Jesus Christ’s love for His bride – the church. (Not just the bride in a building, but all who believe and have faith in Him).

Now we can see why the people who are saved have done two things:

  • spoken with their mouth
  • believed with their heart

Now we can also see why religion and law kills… because a series of laws has nothing of the heart in it.

Now we can see why God declared Abram righteous when Abram simply believed the words of God.

[Urged on] by faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed and went forth to a place which he was destined to receive as an inheritance; and he went, although he did not know or trouble his mind about where he was to go. – Heb 11:8

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