Does God want me to be alone? No.

Despite having my own stuff I still have to work through and overcome, more and more often I find myself talking to people and being a sounding board for them. Sometimes I find people have a view something like one of these:

  • God wants to take them into the wildnerness
  • God wants them to come aside
  • God wants them to be alone with Him
  • God wants them to be isolated for a while

If that is you, then bear with me as we explore if this is God or not.

One of the best ways to figure out if something is God or not, is to study scripture. We agree that scripture contains the words of God and God does not contradict Himself. So let’s look at some scriptures to get a feeling for when God might call someone aside.

Is God Himself isolated?

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. – Gen 1:1

That word which we translate “God” in the Hebrew is ‘ĕlôhı̂ym and in the Strongs Concordance it is H430 and it is a plural word. So the 4th word in the English bible is describing God in terms of being a plurality.

Which explains why He says “let US make man in OUR image”, also plural words.

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.” – Gen 1:26

That’s why we say God-Father, God-Son, God-Holy Spirit. They are individuals, but are so closely knit together in community that Jesus Christ said of His Father that they are “One”.

And Jesus Christ’s connection to us is also a mystery, which the bible compares to a marriage.

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is very great, but I speak concerning [the relation of] Christ and the church. – Eph 5:31-32

In marriage two separate people choose to become one flesh. I once read a rabbi’s writing where he described intimate love in this way:  he wrote that when a husband and wife are being intimate and it’s a real and deep and meaningful connection, to them it feels like their skin is getting in the way. What a wonderful image!

They (God) are in submission to One another, and yet they are equal. Their connection is so close that Jesus said if you have seen Him (Jesus) then you have seen the Father. They are equal and yet Jesus says the Father is greater than He is – the is the humility They share toward each other.

It’s all wonderfully confusing and intimate and connected.

Is God isolated or surrounded by others?

In the prophetic books of the bible people see visions of Heaven. They see a wide variety of creatures surrounding His throne, and God interacts with countless millions of angels, plus He has elders.

God gives out crowns and people love Him so much that they willingly throw their crowns down at His feet!

So what I am saying is, God is not isolated, He is surrounded by those Whom He loves and Who love Him!

Does God isolate people or connect them?

Jesus taught this parable

Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ – Luke 15:3-6

God doesn’t just save the one sheep and leave it alone, but He connects that one sheep into the flock of 99 other sheep who He also found.

In the prodigal son story the father rejoices when his son comes home and throws a feast and re-integrates his son back into the family. The other son gets upset, but that doesn’t stop the father from creating a larger family again.

God is all about building a family! Right now He is preparing rooms in His house for us.

Who wants us to be isolated?

Let me say that it is the enemy who wants us to be isolated. He walks around like a roaring lion. Do you know why a lion roars? Because it scares the herd of buck and they scatter, leaving one or two alone, so he can pick them off.

Are there instances of God isolating people?

For a while God took Elijah to the Cherith Brook, but only for a while and then He took Elijah to the widow’s house. Having Elijah with her blessed her, as it blessed him too.

When Jesus went into the wilderness, He was led by the Holy Spirit. He always had a very real communion with God. So He wasn’t totally alone. And when He went into the wilderness, He knew it was a time of testing and He was willing to go through it. It was for 40 days. It wasn’t years, it wasn’t alone and it wasn’t without a defined reason and goal.

Moses left Egypt to go for 40 years to tend sheep in Saudi Arabia. Was he alone there for 40 years? Probably not, since he got married and got to know the locals.

Joseph was thrown into jail for at least 2 years before he began to interpret for Potiphars but after that he was taken into Potiphar’s own house for 9 years and then promoted and made overseer of Egypt.

The big picture

The bible begins with a perfect marriage before the fall, before sin, between Adam and Eve.

And it ends with a perfect marriage… between Jesus Christ and His bride – the church, all of us who believe in Him.

Then came one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven last plagues and spoke to me, saying, “Come, I will show you the Bride, the wife of the Lamb.” And he carried me away in the Spirit to a great, high mountain, and showed me the holy city Jerusalem coming down out of heaven from God, having the glory of God, its radiance like a most rare jewel, like a jasper, clear as crystal. – Rev 21:9-11

Just pause for a moment. This whole story, the fall of mankind, the rescue at the cross… it’s all a love story written in Heaven. The story begins and ends with a perfect romantic marriage.

In between its all about an intimate connection with us

And between the beginning and the end, in the middle bits, God is protecting His people – sometimes violently – and He is desiring they to trust His words. He is encouraging them, and warning them. He says clearly that He prefers the intimate tent that David had when David sang and danced before Him, rather than the big expensive house of cedar up on the impressive hill.

Church is meant to be like a warm family

So I think the evidence is in! Scripture is that it is possible that God is calling you into a wilderness, but it would only be a for a short time and for a defined purpose that you have agreed to.

However, scripture shows clearly with overwhelming evidence that God is relational and He wants us to be in relationship with Himself AND with one another. That’s why He gave us so much advice on how to behave towards one another.

God sets the lonely in families – Ps 68:6

Church is meant to be like a family, that’s why the bible says that a person who leads a church should already have been a husband and have had a family. Why? Because it’s really good practice! 🙂

My point is… God is not isolated. He is in an extremely intimate community. And we are made in  His image – so therefore we will work best in an intimate community too! This is why a massive glamorous modern church can leave you both feeling excited AND feeling empty at the same time. So many people, but so little intimate connection.

Getting into a small warm intimate home group is often a better way to go for some people. Jesus had a “home group” of Himself and 12 disciples!

Words of caution… boundaries and safety

Now let’s be careful. Let’s take another look at this verse…

God sets the lonely in families – Ps 68:6

Is it just any old family? Will any old relationship do? What if the people are abusive? What if the church I am going to leaves me empty and I don’t feel loved?

By far THE most important thing to understand about emotional healing is that it was a lack of healthy relationships that resulted in us getting hurt. And it’s the restoration of healthy relationships that heals us – and then keeps us healthy.

The key word there is “healthy”.

15 responses to “Does God want me to be alone? No.

  1. I have a situation where I am married to a wonderful man. In the past couple of years it has seemed like God makes us be a part for a time. I have had to go on several trips (work and child related) without him due to finances and now he is having to work in Montana for an unknown amount of time while I stay home in Washington. Not only that but my kids are older and my “friends” never are around. No one even calls. I feel lonely but I don’t want to seem needy. I am starting to have social anxiety. I know that there must be a reason God wants me to be isolated perhaps to search my heart deeper. It is hard to know why since I feel I have no purpose.

    • Hi Tamie

      Im sorry but… UNLESS there is some kind of abuse in your relationship and God is protecting you… unless that is the case I dont think this is God, I think someone or something else is keeping you guys apart and hoping you will break up.

      I think you both should work on your marriage. It’s a sacred thing.

      Please pray with your husband and talk to him about this.

      God bless you,

    • We know for certain that Peter was married because he had a mother-in-law (Matthew 8:14).

      The apostle Paul, who was not married, asked the Corinthians whether he also did not have the right to take a believing wife (1 Corinthians 9:5), as did “the other apostles and the Lord’s brothers and Cephas [Peter].” From this, we can assume that Peter was not the only one to have a wife.

      Scripture says “Let marriage be held in honor among all” (Hebrews 13:4).

      A celibate clergy is tradition and human law and is contrary to the New Testament (1Timothy 3:2-5)

      Read more:

  2. i feel as if God is really punishing me by not giving me a love life like i want so much to have, and he blesses so many other men and women that were very fortunate to have met one another and have a family like i certainly would had wanted. why would he be so very mean to us like that since we are no different than the ones that have it? but since there are so very mean and nasty women out there nowadays, especially when they have to curse at us very serious straight men looking to start a conversation with the one that we would really like to meet. and yes, this has happened to me. that just shows you how many women have changed over the years, and not for the good at all. it is very obvious to me why it is so very hard connecting with a real good woman today, and now that many of them are like this. and i know other men that had this happened to them as well, and well at least i am not alone with this problem. the men and women that were blessed to have each other should certainly go to church to pray and thank God very much for having their life together.

  3. This is a very ebcouraging essage thank you, while I am not disagreeing with you and whether it better to go to a small church or not i think the best chirch is the one where you feel you belong, I have tried so many different churches big and small alike, I found one which was quite big and felt instantly like I belong, I went to this church for many years, and loved it i never felt empty for one minute, the only problem was that this church was VERY far away, and I stopped going because financially I just could not afford the back and forth travelling, I had not gone to church for over a year because I felt like that one was my home no other church that I had tried came close to the way that church had made me feel, but then 3 weeks ago I dediced that I would try another church close to home that was very much like the church I had been to, something amazing happened, I had never felt this way not even in the other church that I loved, this amazing sense of love washed over me and i felt at peace, so much so that the minute I walked through the door i started to cry for no apparent reason, but I felt happy.

    • Hi Bernadette

      If an amazing sense of love washes over you in church, then big or small, it’s the right church for you!! 🙂

      God bless you, Mark Wilson.


    • Thank you 🙂

      I think it’s a relief to know that God designed us in such a wonderful way. And a relief to know that Heaven will be full of emotional warmth and love and intimacy and connection.

      Thank You Jesus, THAT is our home!

      God bless you,

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