I’m not ok


It’s amazing to me how many many people are suffering emotionally in this world.

I recently looked at a tumblr (offline PNG version – 4MB) and was stunned by the depth of the sadness that this person appears to feel.

Is everyone not ok? It seems like it. I don’t think this is something new… I think that it’s just now with facebook, twitter and tumblr (etc.) that we are able to see what has always been under the surface.

People are suffering.

And what does God have to say about the pain in this world? I think that is a fair question, don’t you? And it’s a question I would like to answer – from the bible.

My story

Let me take a moment to talk about me so you can see where I have come from – and its not too different from where that person is who wrote that tumblr (offline PNG version– 4MB). If you read my post: What to do when you are feeling empty inside, you will know that I have felt those feelings.

I’m not proud of it, but I will admit that I’ve done many of the wrong things in order to try and make myself feel better. Drugs. Sex. Travel. Marriage. Religion. Worship. I’ve tried many things to try and fix myself. Yes I tried to fix myself using worship. It didn’t work.

As I’ve written many times in this blog, none of it worked. No, religion did NOT work. Get over it.  🙂

Emo

This outpouring of emotional sadness and low self esteem that people call “emo”. Is all this venting of sadness helpful? Is it healthy? Is it harmful to the person sharing it? Is it harmful to society to become aware of how awful so many people feel?

I think it’s honest. Emo is short for “emotions”. Emotions are not bad.

But when I look at that tumblr (offline PNG version– 4MB), I get a feeling that what pornography is to hurt men, this stuff might be for some hurt women. I think it may be an emotional trap that people – particularly women – can get caught into. It can be like an addiction. More. More. More.

Honesty is good. Being honest about how you feel inside and how you see yourself is a good thing. But in the emo culture there is no way out, no hope, no solution provided. Hip hop lyrics also expressed hopelessness, but it was a positive message of hope, that through hip hop things can get better. But the emo culture seems to have no hope at all. Some people seem to just wallow in sadness, making a home of sadness, making an identity out of it.

I think it’s great that people are honest and they express the depth of their need, but don’t make a lifestyle and an identity out of it. Let me explain why not.

Take a look at the image below. Is this lady below a monster? I know she says she feels like that, but look at her… IS she a monster? No.

Someone feeling empty inside and worthless... broken

Just because this person is admitting to how they feel, doesn’t mean that IS their value.

God’s advice to you

You see, while this world may not think much of you, I can tell you that God thinks a LOT about you.

This is God’s advice to you and me…

Do not conform to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. – Rom 12:2

Religion tells you that God is angry with you. But the bible says this…

For God so loved the world
that he gave his one and only Son,
that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16

While this world send you messages about your value as a woman or a man in a hundred tv adverts and billboard messages each day… all of them telling you that you need some medication, you need to be thinner, you need to be more in control, you need more money etc.

So let me ask you… how thin is thin enough? Should this woman (below) really be worrying about her weight?

How thin is thin enough?

And all of that doesn’t help you, it just tells you that you are not ok as you are.

And we know we are not ok as we are. That’s the truth, isn’t it? Look at how many songs are called “Im not ok”. I did a search here http://www.elyrics.net/find.php for songs named “Im not ok” and found 3208. Wow.

But you know what? I’m not in denial about that. I know who I am when God isn’t holding me up. I’m an addicted mess. Without Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, I would be right back where He found me… and even worse off by now. I’m a sinner, ungodly and an enemy of God… just as the bible says.

Do you want to change?

I wanted to change. And Jesus Christ has changed me. And God accepts me. And now I have His Holy Spirit with me, holding me up, healing me, guiding me, changing me.

Holy Spirit holding me up

When I listened to what the world around me says about me, I felt like sh*t.

NOW I believe what God says about me and I see potential and courage and dreams and hopes.

I have healed, I’ve changed. I’m stronger. I’m healthier. I’m a better man. I’m a better person.

In future I’ll be a better husband and a great dad.

What about you?

Through Jesus Christ, the bible says that you are the bride of Jesus Christ.

Do you know how men feel about their bride? Take a look at the man next time you are at a wedding. He can’t take his eyes off his bride!

The bible says that Jesus Christ sees His bride  – that’s you and me – as beautiful.

He helps her dress in pure white clothing.

God says that His bride’s walls (her safety) is always before Him (in His thoughts).

Did you know that your name is written on God’s hand?

Yes, I have great worth in His eyes. You have great worth in His eyes.

It doesn’t matter to Him if you are not a Hollywood star or have never been on a magazine cover, but in the eyes of Jesus Christ, you are worth His life!

That’s why I have taken the time to write over 1,027 blog posts to try and explain that to everyone and so far 670,000 people have visited and I hope some of them have got the message.

Left to myself, my nature is awful. And it’s like this for most people. Let’s not kid around. LOOK at the world. Switch on your tv and watch the news! We rape, we fight, we are greedy, we grab oil and we loot cities and countries.

But when we come to Him, He redeems us, He shows us that we have value. He makes us His own children and shares what He has with us.

Jesus speaks lovingly about how God feels about the sparrows and the lilies of the field – and then He says to us that we are worth MUCH MORE than them!

Believe what He says!

Your life so far might have been awful. Perhaps people treated you like trash, like rubbish. Perhaps those who should have loved you, instead told you awful things about yourself. Their words should have given you warmth inside but instead it left you cold inside.

Don’t listen to them any more. Come to Jesus Christ and receive the Holy Spirit as your helper… and begin to discover that God loves us and He sees the worth we have. And then learn that He wants us to see our own value. He wants us to believe the words He says about us.

God’s ways are not our ways

If you have lived an isolated life in order to protect yourself, you will probably find God’s ways strange and unexpected.

You might be wondering “what is He doing?” a lot of the time.

I will tell you what He is doing. Are you ready? Got a pen and a paper handy?

Here it is. Drum roll please.

  • He is building a family for Himself – to be around for eternity. 
  • He is building a bride for His Son Jesus Christ – to be around for eternity.
  • He is gathering the isolated sheep (who are lonely and vulnerable) back into the fold of sheep that are being loved and protected by Him.
  • He is healing and cleaning up and bringing back to life the people who come to Him for help.

The bible confirms that we must take care of ourselves and take care of one another. We are all precious in His sight which why Paul prays that our eyes will become enlightened to see the potential that we have when we are united to Jesus Christ.

Do you know what happens? We become changed… we become God’s very own children! But yes, His ways are so different to our world and so different to what we have learned, that it can be quite confusing if we aren’t taught by people who have His heart.

He wants us to grow

The bible says that we can only love others in the measure that we love ourselves. Why is that? Because…

  • If I have no regard for my own personal safety, then I will have no regard for your safety.
  • If I do not care for my own emotions, I will not care for your emotions.
  • If I do not see myself as precious in His eyes, I will not see you as precious in His eyes.

To take care of ourselves we might need to learn a LOT of new skills, for example what are good boundaries and how to place limits on other people’s behaviour. I share about this kind of thing in my post: Your personal bill of rights.

According to YOUR faith

If you come to Him, through His Son Jesus Christ, be prepared to learn and grow and change and heal. He won’t leave you as you are – broken, alone, sad. No. He will encourage you to make something of yourself. It happens slowly, at the pace set by YOU. So… fast… slow… you decide. It all depends on what you believe Jesus Christ has done for you.

Then Jesus said to the centurion, “Go! Let it be done just as you believed it would.” And his servant was healed at that moment. – Matt 8:13

Then he touched their eyes and said, “According to your faith let it be done to you” – Matt 9:29

Then Jesus answered her, O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you wish. And her daughter was cured from that moment. – Matt 15:28

According to WHOSE faith? YOUR faith. And don’t worry, you might not have much faith, but with the help of the Holy Spirit that can and will change. I am a living testimony to the power of God working through one person’s faith. He did it through me, He can do it through you.

God is perfect and Jesus Christ said on the cross “it is finished”. Now it’s us who have the speed limit in our faith – and God sent the Holy Spirit to help us grow in our faith in Jesus Christ.

Not pride

My writing is NOT to encourage self-idolatry or pride. In fact I doubt that anyone reading this blog has that problem. Instead the bible says…

think of yourself with sober judgment – Rom 12:4

and that is what I am encouraging. Sober judgement… not too high and not too low.

Not too high, not too low

Think of yourself with sober judgement… not too highly (proud, pompous) and not too lowly (worthless, devalued, hopeless).

Believe!

You know what you can and can’t do in your own strength. Now let’s see what you can do through the power of what Jesus Christ did for you on the cross and through His Holy Spirit within you.

Believe what God says He can make out of you.

Believe what Jesus Christ said when He walked this earth. Believe the kind things that the Holy Spirit says about your potential when He whispers to you.

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14 responses to “I’m not ok

  1. I came across this site by accident. Im not sure what I was looking for, but I was searching and desperately needing something. Ive not been ok since my divorce, and probably even before that, because I may not have gotten divorced if I was living with Christ in my life. There are so many things I can’t forgive myself for, things Ive done searching for love and acceptance. I understand about making wrong choices because I was hurt. I have prayed and been back and forth with feeling God’s incredible grace, and then the storm blows through and I do something to move myself away. Again. I doubt, question, and feel so lost and want direction. I have hurt people and been selfish. I am not the person I have become. I want to find that joy from when I first believed, and the peace that passes all understanding. Thank you so much for your words of hope.

  2. Pingback: sadness and depression « Zoehugs·

  3. Hi Mark.
    I found this post quite inspiring and i was really able to relate to it. sometimes its easier to say we’re ok rather than talk about everything going on in our heads.
    I know God loves me just the way I am.
    So Thank you.

    • Hi Kate

      Yes, we human beings are good at faking it 🙂

      But Jesus said that the truth sets us free. I am living testimony that this is true. If we keep all the truth inside, hide it, sit on it… it makes us hard and unemotional. Thats not healthy. We need to be like a river, not like a dam.

      God bless you,
      Mark.

  4. I love that picture with the Holy Spirit holding us up, Christ walking with us in our sufferings because He suffered for us on the cross and He too knows pain and the soul sucking evils in the world that come from mankind ‘s war on God, taking His holy essence out of the picture. Thank God for Jesus Christ

    • You wrote: “Thank God for Jesus Christ” – wow that is the truth isn’t it? Until we really and truly discover what He did on the cross, your words will merely remain religion and encouragement. But when we realise what He did… then we begin to see why the bible describes Him as a mystery, a gift, a treasure.

      God bless you!
      Mark.

  5. I am have been going back and forth with not being ok. I’ve realized that I made horrible decisions and choices because I was hurt. I feel like I allowed the enemy to trick me into feeling I had to do wrong because I wasn’t worthy BUT now I have to deal with the hurt those choices caused me. I feel like I will never do those things again but it hurts when everyone around you are so judgmental and you feel like you can never be loved again. However, I know that God has forgiven me and wants the best for me and I am working on realizing and letting that manifest in my thoughts everyday. Your blog is helpful, I’ve started my own also (check it out). God bless you 🙂

    • Hi RespectedEclectic

      I visited your blog and I enjoyed how positive it is 🙂

      Does it help to know that every single person in this world did what you did:
      ” I made horrible decisions and choices because I was hurt”

      There is a saying… hurt people, hurt people. And that’s just how this world is. There is nothing we can do about it, other than pray hard for revival. THEN things will change. But until then, this is how it is.

      You also hit the nail on the head. Yes, we have an enemy: “the enemy to trick me into feeling I had to do wrong because I wasn’t worthy”. Now you know you have an enemy… take a stand not just for yourself, but also for all your loved ones and also for those who cannot stand for yourself.

      The enemy gave you lemons. Now make lemonade and let as many people as possible drink it!!

      God bless you,
      Mark.

    • Go ahead, please 🙂 It’s all free to be used, to the glory of God and Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit Who sustains us and helps us grow. 🙂

      God bless you,
      Mark.

  6. I cannot think of an appropriate comment right now because I’m overwhelmed by this writing. So many times I’ve felt at a loss for words when a friend confides in me about their emo state of mind. Most my friends aren’t religious or spiritual, or believe in God for that matter. Even my own son. So I try and give worldy advice and encouragement. Because I feel they can relate to that. And I shy away from giving them the hope and encouragement I know I should, and they so desperatly need. I’m not going to do that anymore. They need to hear the truth, and the truth is what you wrote. There are no better words of wisdom, hope and encouragment. Why keep that away from them.

    Thank you for sharing this with us. As always your blogs are tiny miracles wrapped in words. Your insight and understanding of scripture speaks to the heart. I pray God uses you this way for a long, long time to come.

    • Hi Shane

      Thank you for your encouragement. Whenver I write a blog like this I am stepping out big time, taking a risk with sharing my own past and my feelings and thoughts at that time… thank you for validating me and for supporting me.

      God bless you 🙂
      Mark.

  7. We hear and see with our physical ears and eyes and we receive ideas that make us form opinions about ourselves and life in general…but we also have spiritual eyes and ears and this is the key to discovering this fantastic world that God promises us all. We have to learn how to use our spiritual eyes and ears to tap into those truths that come from the father…the REAL truth. God help this young girl and all of us to know the truth that comes from the heart of a loving father…help us to receive his love and understand our worth in HIM.

    • Thanks for sharing anonymous.

      You make a good point, but it might be too mature and too abstract for some people who are trapped by their pain right now.

      This article is aimed at the person who is trapped in emotional turmoil and who may not be saved and needs understanding, love, reassurance, hope and immediate help RIGHT NOW.

      Over time with the help of the Holy Spirit they will grow and come to a deeper understanding of what Jesus Christ did for them and as the bible says, we can only come to the Father THROUGH Jesus Christ. They cannot come to the Father without first coming to Jesus Christ – this is according to the bible.

      So…
      1) the FIRST step is love and compassion,
      2) SECOND step is Jesus Christ.
      3) THEN over time the Holy Spirit will lead them to the Father.

      God bless you,
      Mark.

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