My testimony (very short version)


Where do I start? At the beginning…

I was abused as a child… I know this not because I have memories but because of the marks on my body, the symptoms and the “fruit”. Abuse also happened to my mom, so it was moving down generationally… spiritually.

I seemed to be “marked” all of my life… the mark was in the spirit realm. Some people seem to have some kind of mark which causes them to be constantly targetted. I was one of those. As a result there was no end of ppl trying to mess with me in all kinds of different ways.

And my theology was SO messed up! I grew up in an Anglican church and the words of the communion preparation did SEVERE damage to my self esteem.

We do not presume to come to this your table, merciful Lord, trusting in our own righteousness, but in your manifold and great mercies. We are not worthy so much as to gather up the crumbs under your table.

My father was religious, for example he didnt believe in joy – until I pointed out that the disciples went from town to town rejoicing.

I had attachment disorder and that meant I didnt know how to attach emotionally. The inner pain that I felt from loneliness and isolation was almost constant. The only time I didnt feel it was just after waking up in the morning.

People who feel that way are in extreme risk because of their chronic inner needs and their inability to defend themselves… and this attracts predators to them. We need to protect such ppl.

As a result of abuse I also had developed massive demonic problems and I had very powerful spiritual gifts – which I dont believe were from God.

I also had dissociation.

So. Quite a mix. A powerful combination.

Then about 11 years ago I got a divorce and I was a shell of a human being and I began to seek God very earnestly.

I seeked Him in the church but found no freedom at all. I tried worship but found no freedom.

I tried deliverance ministries but in many cases my condition got much worse. (Although I praise God for Darryl and Merridee).

I tried fiery walls, anointing oils, prayers etc. and I had a tiny bit of success but nothing lastiing. I left no stone unturned in my search. I was and am a very thorough person.

I eventually tried scripture. I bought books called “Every prayer of Jesus Christ” and several books like “Every name of God” etc. I really searched for the freedom that was promised in Isaiah and elsewhere.

But still I found no freedom in any of that.

Eventually… I discovered – with the help of the Holy Spirit – the new covenant. I centered my faith on Jesus Christ on the cross… and like the Israelites who kept their eyes on the bronze serpent lifted up in the wilderness… I kept my eyes on Jesus Christ… and the healing began to come.

I collected scriptures about what He has done for me… and I declared them and believed them… the healing accelerated.

I made Youtube videos and I made dvds and put home made posters on my bedroom wall.. I even got some framed for my hallway… to help me keep in mind who He has made me to be… and the healing kept coming!

Here are the videos… enjoy!

  • The descending Heavenly Jerusalem – This is another attempt to show in scripture what Jesus Christ did for us all. He made everything clean – and that is why John + Isaiah calls it “The new Heaven and New Ear…
  • Jesus – Son of God and Christ – This is a testimony built from 2 John about Jesus being the Christ, Jesus is the Son of God, Jesus is righteous – and what each of those mean.
  • Seated and freed – Scriptures about you being IN Him, seated with Him and and freed from sin and death.
  • Life affirming scriptures – This is a video showing the life that Jesus provides to those who believe in Him.
  • Scriptures about our union with Him – These are scriptures taken from the NIV about our union with Jesus Christ. This union comes through receiving His Holy Spirit in us.
  • Declaration 2 – A short and artistic list of Christian declarations.
  • What is faith? – A short video covering the key scriptures in Romans, summarising what biblical faith is. In short: faith is “believing that God CAN do what He promised to do”. Then you com…
  • Sample new covenant prayers – Describes the new covenant in detail with suggested prayers.
  • If the Son sets you free, you are free indeed – Just a few scriptures and a confession.
  • What did Jesus do for you v2 – This is a follow up (and an improved video) covering the same message: what did Jesus do for His followers. I hope that this is an inspiring message and a life-changing…
  • What did Jesus do for you? – THE FIRST video and still the best IMO. In 750BC Isaiah prophesied about Jesus Christ, the Messiah. This video covers his prophesies and describes what Jesus did for us. As you watch the video, try to agree w…

Being transformed… note the BEING

The more I focussed on Jesus Christ, the more I realised who I am because of Him. The bible says that as we behold Him we are transformed into His image WITH ever increasing glory…

And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory – 2Cor 3:18

In the last 14 months I have watched Mel Gibsons movie The Passion of Christ over 100 times… each time I spend an hour declaring and receving His substitution in my place, receiving His blessing and grace given for me.

I am beholding His glory… deliberately declaring and receiving everything that scripture says He has done and made available for me… and as I do that Im being transformed into His image WITH His glory in my life ever-increasing.

I must add that as I dug deep into the new covenant, the persecution of me increased greatly. I have no idea what plans the enemy had for my life, but when he saw me slipping from his grasp, he rallied his human and spiritual troops.

But. As I wrote in my previous post… Predestination… the enemy brought me to Jesus Christ. He was doing His worst to me, but he made me into a victorious, overcoming son of God… who is day by day coming more and more into the likeness of Jesus Christ.

With this purpose in mind, he called you through our proclamation of the gospel so that you would obtain the glory of our Lord Jesus, the Messiah. – 2Thess 2:13

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6 responses to “My testimony (very short version)

  1. Pingback: How to fill up the lonely hurt inside | Faith + Hope + Love·

  2. Pingback: What to do when you’re feeling empty inside | Faith + Hope + Love·

  3. When we seek him we find Him and when we ask for deeper and still deeper we get just that. The Spirit of Yahweh will reveal ALL things. I thought I had to wait to get to heaven to realise all the mysteries of YAH. BUT Yahshua prayed letbe on earth as it is in heaven
    That was when I realised that everything in Heaven is on earth ONLY through the Blood of Yahshua

    The Blood cleanses us from all sin making the way clear for us to experience EVERYTHING as in Genesis 1-2 and so much more. Even restoring our futures that satan tries to steal
    From the time we are born till our death he is trying to steal our now and our future and Yahshua came to restore to mankind all things ALL things from family relationships to marriages to work opportunites to wealth in all things spiritually and physically

    If we could see what is going on in the spirit realm we will either crawl under a rock or fall flat on our faces in worship to Yahshua

    Yahshua came to answer the cries of Abel’s blood in Genesis AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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