This is a part of a series
Tonight is a sad night for me. Shortly I may have to come to terms with the truth that not everyone in Heb 11 got what God promised to them.
At first God said it would take 5 years. So I prayed and prayed and 5 years passed. Then I decided maybe that guy got it wrong. I waited prayerfully for another 5 years. Still nothing. Then I waited another year. Nothing. 5+5+1=11.
But now I see God wrapping things up. My sabbatical… from the word sabbath… is ending. The cloud and the fire are moving forward. All the issues that kept me bound… kept me out of leadership, out of so many things and forced me to have the sabbaths that I missed… things like vertigo and sin are being wrapped up with ease now.
Its His timing. Suddenly now I see an unexpected future unfolding. Its exciting. Im just starting to be passionate about it.
But maybe that 11 year old promise wont be coming along for the gondola ride. 11 years is 4,015 days. I prayed at least one third of those days, and on many days I prayed two or three times a day. Just imagine you pray 4,000+ prayers… and you are praying for something that is Gods will and His desire… and still nothing.
Maybe I just have to accept that. Maybe I will never know why.
Indeed there are so many scriptures about the marriage of the Lamb where those called to come to it did not choose to come. Or those waiting let their oil run out and could not join in.
Its sad. But its only sad if I look back. Its only sad if I think about all the opportunities with other people that I never explored, because I believed God. 11 years of not loving and not being loved.
If I Ilook forward then Im excited. If I look at the faith “muscle” that has built up through this experience, then Im excited. If I look at who I was 11 years ago, or 6 years ago or even 1 year ago… and I compare it to who I am emerging as now, then Im excited..
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. – Rom 5:3-5
These words.., suffering produces perseverance which produces character which produces hope… oh boy do I have perseverance and character now! Hehehe.
I think my biggest gripe about this whole thing is when I think about all the evil people who put such effort into seeing this fail… making sure I cannot find her, ensuring a disconnect, trying to encourage unequally yolked relationships and fostering pain so that sin abounds.
These evil people will no doubt be patting themselves on the back at a job well done and getting raises from their employers. That’s what really pisses me off.
But vengeance is Mine says the Lord. He wants me to live in peace, forgiveness and to do all things without complaining.
So. I will be excited about who He has made me to be. I will be excited about my future and His future promises to me… which I expect will come to pass.
But what about the evil doers?
Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” – Rom 12:19
I forgive the evil people and I let it drop. I leave the evil people in His hands.
But MY eyes are set on the future. Im thinking about the next 4,000+ prayers.
I think I heard God just say to me that “not one of those 4,000 prayers were wasted”. Not wasted? Perhaps they went into these golden bowls…
And when he had taken the scroll, the four living creatures and four and twenty elders fell down before the Lamb, having every one of them harps, and golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of saints. – Rev 5:8
And another angel came and stood at the altar, having a golden censer; and there was given unto him much incense, that he should offer it with the prayers of all saints upon the golden altar which was before the throne. And the smoke of the incense, which came with the prayers of the saints, ascended up before God out of the angel’s hand. And the angel took the censer, and filled it with fire from the altar, and cast it into the earth: and there were voices, and thunderings, and lightnings, and an earthquake. – Rev 8:3-5
What you read in those verses is how prayer collects and then becomes revival when its combined with other Heavenly things and cast to the earth.
Why did I write this?
Im writing this for myself, for the future. This blog isnt only to help others understand God stuff, its also for me to see my own journey. What I did, why I did it, what my logic was. Thats why this blog was originally called something like “The journey of a Christian”.
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